Sooooo hot yoga kicked my ass. I mean its been a long time where a workout has made me wanna throw up, pass out ANNNNND beg for my life not to end. And Im no stranger to the gym. One of the very few people who actually like the gym but that workout beat me like a slave that had been captured by not Russia but U.S.S.R. But let me tell you, I loved it. Why? Come closer, pour yourself a shot and let me fill you in.
The first thing I felt when I walked into the room was a great peace. Like lavender was personified. I sat in the room like an exhibitionist and watched the people and absorbed them. I was in ahhhh of these folks. It was evident their body and spirit were one.
It reminded me of what a beautiful soul named Egami Reh told me and I never forgot it. She said, you are the God of your own body. She told me that your body is so loyal to you that if you asked it to drink a gallon of bleach...it would. You are God, Ruler, Boss and Emperor. Your cells, organs, bones, ect worship and praise you. They exists to serve you so I ask what kind of God are you? What kind of boss are you? Would you prefer your boss to be yelling at you everyday to get your work done or help you and praise you to get your work done? Your cells feel stress. 80 percent of diseases are related to stress. SO trust me, your cells feel negativity like you do when your boss walks in on Monday with evidence of "FUCK EVERYONE" all over them. Its hard to work in that atmosphere. So here I am in this room as the odd man out. Not just cuz I was the only black, overweight person in the room but because my aura was a snitch and it was screaming to everyone I hadnt been kind to my body.
Now we are well into the workout and I am looking like an idiot. I didnt know what the hell I was doing. I remember looking in the mirror and cursing myself out. Why you ask? There was a beginners class but I chose this class because I wanted more for my money and since the beginners class was only an hour and the advanced was 90 mins...I chose this class. Greed sucks ass. Well at this moment, kicks ass....not in the awesome white boy way either.
At this time Im beginning to notice some things. I cant align my body, I cant balance and I am not flexible AT ALL. On top of the fact that it feels like there is a bunch of meat from the night before stuck in my throat planning an escape from my body like its in a poorly secured prison.....I am hurting. My body is hurting and shaking and I cant breathe. So I lay in childs pose after an hour of all this and reflect.
Physical cant come to be without it being in the spiritual first. Am I not balanced? Am I not align? Am I not flexible? Yes. Yes. And damnit More YES!
The next day I go and hang out with some friends to exchange ideas about spirituality. I believe there is no one religion that has it all right soooooooo its important, no matter what religion you affiliate with, to speak with people from other religions to help round out your spirit. Your spirit isnt Christian or Jewish....it is spirit which includes all.
In the midst of our chatting I asked one of my friends who is a Lesbian how she deals with people feeling like her lifestyle is wrong because Christians I use to know feel the same way about my lifestyle now. (a lifestyle that excludes Pastors, Church, a definition of "sin" and ect...) I told her I havent figured how to deal with people still trying to "save me". (Which is about as annoying as someone telling you the ending to a movie you've waited 5 months to see....yes THAT annoying) She told me she accepts those who dont accept her lifestyle for where they are and that I was judgemental for standing against their beliefs. OH NO SHE DIDNT SAY I WAS JUDGEMENTAL! But it made sense. I didnt realize I wasnt being flexible. How can I expect a person to accept everyone and I only accept people who are open minded in the way I think they should be? I cant. The epiphany was sooooo beautiful and I am working on it becoming habitually subconscious. Bottom line, yoga showed me myself and the universe was already working on showing me how to fix the darkness that was hiding in me.
I am working on my balance and alignment now but Im still not certain the areas I need to reevaluate but I am waiting on the spirit world to reveal them to me. I Love this life I live. I love loving this life. I hope you are doing the same with yours. Thank you for reading. Love and Freedom.
Seven
Monday, August 27, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Freaky like the Daughter of a Pastor.....
.....Well BOTH of my parents were Pastors. Yeah so you can only imagine how freaky I am. I wasn't a "bad" child. Loved church if anything. I was heavily involved in it. Lost my virginity after high school to the man I had plan to marry. I mean, my shoes weren't just good...they were goody. (I hope you caught that) I enjoyed the attention I got from being so righteous but.....
I LOVED PORN!!!!
Still do. Learned how to give a proper B & Js through porn. Love giving head. Love having sex. My favorite is when people are around but cant see you like in the bathroom at a party. Im just saying, I had a freaky side that I had to constantly keep in check. Being in the church, lust and passion (except toward King Jesus and God of Abraham) were frowned upon. I constantly told myself how awful I was for wanting sex. I made the guilt after a masturbation session unbearable so I would stop. I would celebrate each week that would go by that I didnt "click on the clit" or "love my neighbor as myself" or "know thyself"! I was proud that I was a woman beater and would share tactics with other women.
Now I know most of you all are from some type of organized religion. And the previous paragraphs of this blog are familiar to you but you don't understand whats so wrong with doing what Ive mentioned. Well, I am about to give you MY OPINION and MY revelation on this. I know you may disagree but I encourage you to continue reading so you know whats in the brain of a different mind than yours.
Organized religion is an amazing tool to point you toward your spirit. I wouldn't be who I am today without being a Christian for 25 years of my life. I look into Islam and love the discipline they teach. I look into the Jewish faith and I love the sound history it has plus their traditions seems to connect them to the spiritual realm more than any other religion. But the one thing I have seen, is this under currant of suppression of feminine power that has become so normal that women no longer see it as a problem.
One major proof is that we all know God isnt human....God is spirit yet we refer to God has "father" or "Him"! And if you got up and said "ALL PRAISE BE TO GOD BLESS HER HOLY NAME!" they would look at you as if satan just proposed to you on the alter and you said yes. Why are we so comfortable with God being man but uncomfortable with God being female even though both would be wrong? So what does this have to do with sex? A lot....
One little secret that I learned that men would hate for women to know is that they feel that women have a power over them that they have to learn to control. That we hold the keys of power walking into any situation that consist of a woman and a man. Without any discipline and focus on their part, we have a STRONG power over them. Their sex drive is crazy high to keep the earth's population going. Very few women want to have kids after a night of cramps or even worst labor pains. Not fun. We are beautiful, nurturing, soft creatures with vaginas that make them feel like gods. To control that urge for us takes much effort so for some instead of doing all that.....they try and control the women.
Have you ever wondered why do women have to cover up in church? Why is it my responsibility to keep you from having visions of us having sex during worship? Why is it that Nicki Minaj is considered a hoe when we have never heard of her being with anyone other than Lil Wayne? Ashton Kutcher has been with just as many women as Kim Kardashian has been with men but she's a SLORE (thats slut and whore together just to clear that up) and he is just a man being a man.
It is an effort to take away feminine power. Im not saying lets all blare out Who Runs the World by Beyonce and take over. I simply saying that Masculine and Feminine power need to be equal for a balanced society.
A woman who owns her sexuality is a dangerous woman. Which is why it is frowned upon so much. A woman flaunting her curves and proud to be connected with her body is considered a hoebag. A woman who has sex on the first date and doesnt want anything to do with that man except sex is considered loose to the church. All these negative concepts that we have learned about our body or being sexual have kept us from great sex and a word we rarely say...ORGASMS (with a s).
The guilt that is playing through our head in the form of questions is blocking out enjoying a very NATURAL part of life. I know its natural because most of the women who are in the church and arent married ARE STILL HAVING SEX!!!!
Im not saying your Priest or Pastor has sat down with the Elders of the church or temple and devised a plan once a month to kill feminine power. Theres not a hate group meeting going on in the basement of the place you worship trying to cut the clits of women spiritually. Most men dont know they do it. Just like most women don't know why some women have great sex no matter the man they have sex with. (the penis however can fuck up some good sex regardless but women who own their bodies would politely tell the man no or just have anal sex) Its because of the negative concepts we have been fed. Most men don't know that they are fucking up their sex life with their future wives by perpetuating these misogynous views of "keep your legs closed" because you cant just click over from being a nun to porn star just because a ring was placed next to the middle finger. It takes women YEARS to become sexually open and comfortable because they have to unlearn these concepts.
I'm not saying go out Friday night and sleep with the first dude who looks to be packing length and girth. I'm saying reevaluate how you view sex. Unlearn the unhealthy parts of it. In my religion it took me researching the original text of scriptures realizing God didn't have a problem with an unmarried woman having sex with an unmarried man..though the culture didn't support that...its just when one or both became married....was it a problem. When sex controls you....starts to get in the way of relationships or your job....then be worried but owning your body.....being present in your body......feeling at home in your body.....is not nasty or unholy. Its quite the opposite. its your temple.
If you are like myself, which a lot of us are, then you are not only dealing with unlearning these concepts but also dealing with the darkness that seemed to be left by someone in you when you were younger and was taken advantage of sexually. We are strong. We are beautiful. No it wasn't our faults no matter WHAT the situation. And WE DESERVE ORGASMS! LOL. Love thyself and today is the perfect time to start!
I write this cause I am going through it. I'm blessed with a man who understands my journey of unlearning but at times it is still difficult. Is anyone going through this same journey or has gone through this journey that has any tips? Love to hear your help. Till next time Love and Freedom!
Seven
I LOVED PORN!!!!
Still do. Learned how to give a proper B & Js through porn. Love giving head. Love having sex. My favorite is when people are around but cant see you like in the bathroom at a party. Im just saying, I had a freaky side that I had to constantly keep in check. Being in the church, lust and passion (except toward King Jesus and God of Abraham) were frowned upon. I constantly told myself how awful I was for wanting sex. I made the guilt after a masturbation session unbearable so I would stop. I would celebrate each week that would go by that I didnt "click on the clit" or "love my neighbor as myself" or "know thyself"! I was proud that I was a woman beater and would share tactics with other women.
Now I know most of you all are from some type of organized religion. And the previous paragraphs of this blog are familiar to you but you don't understand whats so wrong with doing what Ive mentioned. Well, I am about to give you MY OPINION and MY revelation on this. I know you may disagree but I encourage you to continue reading so you know whats in the brain of a different mind than yours.
Organized religion is an amazing tool to point you toward your spirit. I wouldn't be who I am today without being a Christian for 25 years of my life. I look into Islam and love the discipline they teach. I look into the Jewish faith and I love the sound history it has plus their traditions seems to connect them to the spiritual realm more than any other religion. But the one thing I have seen, is this under currant of suppression of feminine power that has become so normal that women no longer see it as a problem.
One major proof is that we all know God isnt human....God is spirit yet we refer to God has "father" or "Him"! And if you got up and said "ALL PRAISE BE TO GOD BLESS HER HOLY NAME!" they would look at you as if satan just proposed to you on the alter and you said yes. Why are we so comfortable with God being man but uncomfortable with God being female even though both would be wrong? So what does this have to do with sex? A lot....
One little secret that I learned that men would hate for women to know is that they feel that women have a power over them that they have to learn to control. That we hold the keys of power walking into any situation that consist of a woman and a man. Without any discipline and focus on their part, we have a STRONG power over them. Their sex drive is crazy high to keep the earth's population going. Very few women want to have kids after a night of cramps or even worst labor pains. Not fun. We are beautiful, nurturing, soft creatures with vaginas that make them feel like gods. To control that urge for us takes much effort so for some instead of doing all that.....they try and control the women.
Have you ever wondered why do women have to cover up in church? Why is it my responsibility to keep you from having visions of us having sex during worship? Why is it that Nicki Minaj is considered a hoe when we have never heard of her being with anyone other than Lil Wayne? Ashton Kutcher has been with just as many women as Kim Kardashian has been with men but she's a SLORE (thats slut and whore together just to clear that up) and he is just a man being a man.
It is an effort to take away feminine power. Im not saying lets all blare out Who Runs the World by Beyonce and take over. I simply saying that Masculine and Feminine power need to be equal for a balanced society.
A woman who owns her sexuality is a dangerous woman. Which is why it is frowned upon so much. A woman flaunting her curves and proud to be connected with her body is considered a hoebag. A woman who has sex on the first date and doesnt want anything to do with that man except sex is considered loose to the church. All these negative concepts that we have learned about our body or being sexual have kept us from great sex and a word we rarely say...ORGASMS (with a s).
The guilt that is playing through our head in the form of questions is blocking out enjoying a very NATURAL part of life. I know its natural because most of the women who are in the church and arent married ARE STILL HAVING SEX!!!!
Im not saying your Priest or Pastor has sat down with the Elders of the church or temple and devised a plan once a month to kill feminine power. Theres not a hate group meeting going on in the basement of the place you worship trying to cut the clits of women spiritually. Most men dont know they do it. Just like most women don't know why some women have great sex no matter the man they have sex with. (the penis however can fuck up some good sex regardless but women who own their bodies would politely tell the man no or just have anal sex) Its because of the negative concepts we have been fed. Most men don't know that they are fucking up their sex life with their future wives by perpetuating these misogynous views of "keep your legs closed" because you cant just click over from being a nun to porn star just because a ring was placed next to the middle finger. It takes women YEARS to become sexually open and comfortable because they have to unlearn these concepts.
I'm not saying go out Friday night and sleep with the first dude who looks to be packing length and girth. I'm saying reevaluate how you view sex. Unlearn the unhealthy parts of it. In my religion it took me researching the original text of scriptures realizing God didn't have a problem with an unmarried woman having sex with an unmarried man..though the culture didn't support that...its just when one or both became married....was it a problem. When sex controls you....starts to get in the way of relationships or your job....then be worried but owning your body.....being present in your body......feeling at home in your body.....is not nasty or unholy. Its quite the opposite. its your temple.
If you are like myself, which a lot of us are, then you are not only dealing with unlearning these concepts but also dealing with the darkness that seemed to be left by someone in you when you were younger and was taken advantage of sexually. We are strong. We are beautiful. No it wasn't our faults no matter WHAT the situation. And WE DESERVE ORGASMS! LOL. Love thyself and today is the perfect time to start!
I write this cause I am going through it. I'm blessed with a man who understands my journey of unlearning but at times it is still difficult. Is anyone going through this same journey or has gone through this journey that has any tips? Love to hear your help. Till next time Love and Freedom!
Seven
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Weight gain...I rather suck on a ball then balance on one.
I know I know....Ive been gone as long as your disc man has but I'm back. Lots of stuff has happened! I mean lots but I will slowly recap through out the blog instead of catching you guys up all at once.
Lets first talk about how Weight Watchers is awesome and how I am not.
Alright so, I understand now why Weight Watchers is the number one weight loss system in the nation cuz it has an excellent system to kick Fat's ass. It teaches you two major things.....How much is too much food for you and your body AND BALANCE! So it is no surprise that I have spent 60 dollars to gain weight on the program. Why? Guess what ONE of my major issue are in my life???? Yes BALANCE!
If you have ever met me in person....I am extremely passionate. I am bubbly, ballsy and have a high pitch voice that at first sounds pleasant but eventually gets on your GOD DAMN NERVES! Passion is what drives me but what it also does.....is..... put me in EXTREMES. Example, Lets say I watch a YouTube video of a baby cow being stabbed by a huge metal hook, drug across the floor while kicking in pain and murdered for the purpose of being on my bun. (Real shit like this happens everyday by the way) Not only do I stop eating beef....I tell all my friends on facebook I'm going to call in some kind of homicide team on your ass if I see you eating a cow. Then I'm talking to the manager of Food Lion to make sure he knows he support the Osama type murder of animals and should leave the earth in the same way if he doesnt get some organic in this bitch. I go hard for at the most 2-3 weeks then that faithful bar-b-cue happens where the only people that I know at the spot are the people who have been trying to sabotage my efforts to not eat meat so that they can eat guilt free! I end up having just ONE piece of a beef hot dog and BAM next week I'm turning my stove to 300 to slowly cook a roast.
Its baaaaad! Soooo bad. I know it has a lot to do with my up bringing where I felt I had to be perfect and make all the right choices all the time so now all I wanna do is REBEL! Which is why wrong shit feels so amazeballs RIGHT. But it also has a lot to do with my relationship with food.
Lets get real. If we are talking about caloric intake and outtake then exercising, on average, burns about 350 calories per hour. A debbie snack cake Nutty Buddy Bar is 330 calories which can be consumed by me in less than 5 mins. Conclusion: Its not about my relationship with a tredmill which is what I have been focusing on a lot. If I stopped eating so much damn food....I wouldn't be in this embarrassing predicament.
I have been blessed. I LOVE WEIRD HEALTHY FOOD!!! I can eat watermelon, bananas, oranges and apples EVERYDAY for breakfast. Some form of Raw Spinach, broccoli, mushrooms and celery everyday for lunch! Tofu, soup and a huge ass salad for dinner! I love healthy food cuz it taste GRRRRREAT to me! SO why in the fuck titty ville do I always go for the unhealthy shitty food? Why does my brain tell me, "Fuck that plum son and go for the Belgian Waffles, grits and milkshake that we will call a smoothie."
It is a mind thing. I have no control over the one thing I CAN control.
I recently spoke with this beautiful spirit, Neleh (waving frantically at her), who told me about this transformation shes been on for two years looking for herself. She tells me about yoga and it detoxing benefits which Ive done...hot yoga specifically.... with my other homie GLO! I had a ball and felt amazing and I stopped because Im a dumb ass. So I was interested in what Neleh had to say because not only do I love yoga but I loved her. Her spirit glowed and her body was AWESOME! I noticed her physical change but didnt connect that it came from the inside.
So here I am again trying to figure out what wack ass concept did I adopt that made me almost 30 pounds overweight and I realized this.....I dont want to be healthy....I just wanna look good!
That one statement explains alot. Yo yo dieting comes from this fuckball of a statement. You and I are spirits. Just like astronauts are given a space suit in order to survive in outer space....we were given a body in order to grow our spirits from what we learn here on earth. Its crazy for the astronaut to be more concerned about getting a ruby red suit and Jordans laced into his/her suit than he/she is about the maintenance of the suit! Same with me....its a stupid concept to be more concerned about being fat than me being unhealthy. So thats my next step. Changing my relationship with food. Becoming healthy from the inside out. Intention is everything.
I have begin to research many authors that talk about this topic and yoga. The China Study already has peaked my interest highly. While I research food scientifically, Ill add in some hot yoga and books on guilt which we will talk about later on because guilt is one of the worst emotions we have adopted into our daily lives! (It is seriously a fuckcluster of shitty shit!)
Alright lets do a small preview......guilt is like swallowing shattered glass on purpose. It causes so much stress on you physically and spiritually for no reason! Most people use it to punish themselves so they wont do what they did again. I had to ask myself, "Do you punch yourself in the face every time you don't spell a word right?" (The answer was no by the way. I cant spell or speak half the time! That's why I MC events and blog. Perfect requirements for such jobs) So if I did something to someone or even myself (like gain all this weight and carry my embarrassment, called my body, everywhere I go) that I need to realize I'm wrong, do my best to fix it and then let it be. Move on like a douche bag does after a one-night stand he had with a girl for a bet. I am sure guilt has a lot to do with my weight gain and I am excited to let go of the concepts that connect the two.
I miss you all dearly. I am so sorry Ive been MIA but I'm back for however long I have something to say. PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS! I wanna know if you can understand my pain or if you don't get it at all!!! Ill shall post my next blog before the week is out! Love and freedom!
Seven
Lets first talk about how Weight Watchers is awesome and how I am not.
Alright so, I understand now why Weight Watchers is the number one weight loss system in the nation cuz it has an excellent system to kick Fat's ass. It teaches you two major things.....How much is too much food for you and your body AND BALANCE! So it is no surprise that I have spent 60 dollars to gain weight on the program. Why? Guess what ONE of my major issue are in my life???? Yes BALANCE!
If you have ever met me in person....I am extremely passionate. I am bubbly, ballsy and have a high pitch voice that at first sounds pleasant but eventually gets on your GOD DAMN NERVES! Passion is what drives me but what it also does.....is..... put me in EXTREMES. Example, Lets say I watch a YouTube video of a baby cow being stabbed by a huge metal hook, drug across the floor while kicking in pain and murdered for the purpose of being on my bun. (Real shit like this happens everyday by the way) Not only do I stop eating beef....I tell all my friends on facebook I'm going to call in some kind of homicide team on your ass if I see you eating a cow. Then I'm talking to the manager of Food Lion to make sure he knows he support the Osama type murder of animals and should leave the earth in the same way if he doesnt get some organic in this bitch. I go hard for at the most 2-3 weeks then that faithful bar-b-cue happens where the only people that I know at the spot are the people who have been trying to sabotage my efforts to not eat meat so that they can eat guilt free! I end up having just ONE piece of a beef hot dog and BAM next week I'm turning my stove to 300 to slowly cook a roast.
Its baaaaad! Soooo bad. I know it has a lot to do with my up bringing where I felt I had to be perfect and make all the right choices all the time so now all I wanna do is REBEL! Which is why wrong shit feels so amazeballs RIGHT. But it also has a lot to do with my relationship with food.
Lets get real. If we are talking about caloric intake and outtake then exercising, on average, burns about 350 calories per hour. A debbie snack cake Nutty Buddy Bar is 330 calories which can be consumed by me in less than 5 mins. Conclusion: Its not about my relationship with a tredmill which is what I have been focusing on a lot. If I stopped eating so much damn food....I wouldn't be in this embarrassing predicament.
I have been blessed. I LOVE WEIRD HEALTHY FOOD!!! I can eat watermelon, bananas, oranges and apples EVERYDAY for breakfast. Some form of Raw Spinach, broccoli, mushrooms and celery everyday for lunch! Tofu, soup and a huge ass salad for dinner! I love healthy food cuz it taste GRRRRREAT to me! SO why in the fuck titty ville do I always go for the unhealthy shitty food? Why does my brain tell me, "Fuck that plum son and go for the Belgian Waffles, grits and milkshake that we will call a smoothie."
It is a mind thing. I have no control over the one thing I CAN control.
I recently spoke with this beautiful spirit, Neleh (waving frantically at her), who told me about this transformation shes been on for two years looking for herself. She tells me about yoga and it detoxing benefits which Ive done...hot yoga specifically.... with my other homie GLO! I had a ball and felt amazing and I stopped because Im a dumb ass. So I was interested in what Neleh had to say because not only do I love yoga but I loved her. Her spirit glowed and her body was AWESOME! I noticed her physical change but didnt connect that it came from the inside.
So here I am again trying to figure out what wack ass concept did I adopt that made me almost 30 pounds overweight and I realized this.....I dont want to be healthy....I just wanna look good!
That one statement explains alot. Yo yo dieting comes from this fuckball of a statement. You and I are spirits. Just like astronauts are given a space suit in order to survive in outer space....we were given a body in order to grow our spirits from what we learn here on earth. Its crazy for the astronaut to be more concerned about getting a ruby red suit and Jordans laced into his/her suit than he/she is about the maintenance of the suit! Same with me....its a stupid concept to be more concerned about being fat than me being unhealthy. So thats my next step. Changing my relationship with food. Becoming healthy from the inside out. Intention is everything.
I have begin to research many authors that talk about this topic and yoga. The China Study already has peaked my interest highly. While I research food scientifically, Ill add in some hot yoga and books on guilt which we will talk about later on because guilt is one of the worst emotions we have adopted into our daily lives! (It is seriously a fuckcluster of shitty shit!)
Alright lets do a small preview......guilt is like swallowing shattered glass on purpose. It causes so much stress on you physically and spiritually for no reason! Most people use it to punish themselves so they wont do what they did again. I had to ask myself, "Do you punch yourself in the face every time you don't spell a word right?" (The answer was no by the way. I cant spell or speak half the time! That's why I MC events and blog. Perfect requirements for such jobs) So if I did something to someone or even myself (like gain all this weight and carry my embarrassment, called my body, everywhere I go) that I need to realize I'm wrong, do my best to fix it and then let it be. Move on like a douche bag does after a one-night stand he had with a girl for a bet. I am sure guilt has a lot to do with my weight gain and I am excited to let go of the concepts that connect the two.
I miss you all dearly. I am so sorry Ive been MIA but I'm back for however long I have something to say. PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS! I wanna know if you can understand my pain or if you don't get it at all!!! Ill shall post my next blog before the week is out! Love and freedom!
Seven
Monday, June 18, 2012
Invisible Things are Like Orgasms...Priceless
Namaste! Good day! Top of the Morning to you! Hello! Hi! Hey! What's cracking? What it do! and WHATS REALLY GOOD!
My weekend was boring. Yep it bored my ass off (not literally. My fabulous ass is still here....no need to worry) and it was still awesome. I did nothing but watch funny movies and 8 episodes of Glee back to back. (YES I WATCH GLEE! Im black, Im old AND I WATCH GLEE! WHAT! Its a bowl full of awesomeness!) In my doing of nothing I got to contemplate on a concept introduced to me by my guides. Which I shall reveal now. (pause for dramatic effect. No seriously pause right now in your mind with a drum roll! JUST DO IT!)
All humans are after the intangible NOTHING MORE.
What I mean is.....I dont want to lose weight really.....I wanna feel beautiful in my skin and have everybody else agree. I dont really want a new job.....I want security and independence from others financially and less stress. I dont really want a new car....I want people to see my status in society isnt the same as a high school student. (I mean I have a 2000 Toyota Camry. Its an awesome car and it has done me right but Im f&#$in 27 years old! lol)
The point is I had to sit down and think of all the things I want and why. Whats the REAL reason behind me wanting something. I knew if the reason I came up with could be seen, touched, smelled, tasted or heard....it wasnt the real reason. (Epiphanies I swear are like mental orgasms!) When I started to reveal those reasons I saw some were pretty superficial and some were really deep. All in all, whether they were kiddie pool or ocean deep....they were my desires and it was okay to want those things. Where we get disappointed in life is we expect things in a certain package, delivered in a certain way.
The universe/God dont work that way!
Alright so Ive been wanting a new job for forever! Now that I realize that its not the job I want but the financial freedom, security and independence....it opens my eyes to all types of options. Those things I really want may not come in the form of a job. So though I may have applied for a job this past Friday (which I did) and really want the job because its something that I would enjoy (which it is) the universe may know something I dont. This job may not give me everything I want and the universe may have something happen behind the scenes that may block me from getting the job. An opportunity for me to create my own line of graphic and screen tees might be right around the corner. (also something I wanna do...along with shot glasses...stay tune) Which means, if I do not get a phone call back for this job...I shouldnt get disappointed....I should get excited. Why?
Because anything we want is ours and faith in that one statement is all you need to see your dreams manifest.
This job may only give me ONE of the things I want where my own line of t-shirts may give me ALL the things I want. This concept has stopped my worry. This concept has choked out my need for control. (I know Im not the only A-type Bitch around these parts) It has stopped fear in all forms on this side. All my desires are already mine.
So yes sometimes you ask for a butterfly and God gives you a Caterpillar! Stop trippin and get excited about how awesome the opportunity will be. Raising one Caterpillar may give you the skill to have an endless supply of butterflies! You want to get married and have the BEST marriage anyone has seen. I mean you wanna KICK ASS in the married life. Well maybe in order to have that kick assness that dude you have been hoping to notice you HAS TO IGNORE YOUR ASS! lol.
NO need for disappointments. As a society we have way more faith in being disappointed than in things going our way and thats the best way to create your life to suck balls! Huge ones! I challenge you and myself to think about what you really want and why you really want it. Whats the intangible thing you are searching for? Then keep your eyes open child-hood wide and see what amazing way the universe answers your desire. Opportunities are everywhere....you just got have faith in them to see them! Love and Freedom!
There is no Spoon!
Seven
My weekend was boring. Yep it bored my ass off (not literally. My fabulous ass is still here....no need to worry) and it was still awesome. I did nothing but watch funny movies and 8 episodes of Glee back to back. (YES I WATCH GLEE! Im black, Im old AND I WATCH GLEE! WHAT! Its a bowl full of awesomeness!) In my doing of nothing I got to contemplate on a concept introduced to me by my guides. Which I shall reveal now. (pause for dramatic effect. No seriously pause right now in your mind with a drum roll! JUST DO IT!)
All humans are after the intangible NOTHING MORE.
What I mean is.....I dont want to lose weight really.....I wanna feel beautiful in my skin and have everybody else agree. I dont really want a new job.....I want security and independence from others financially and less stress. I dont really want a new car....I want people to see my status in society isnt the same as a high school student. (I mean I have a 2000 Toyota Camry. Its an awesome car and it has done me right but Im f&#$in 27 years old! lol)
The point is I had to sit down and think of all the things I want and why. Whats the REAL reason behind me wanting something. I knew if the reason I came up with could be seen, touched, smelled, tasted or heard....it wasnt the real reason. (Epiphanies I swear are like mental orgasms!) When I started to reveal those reasons I saw some were pretty superficial and some were really deep. All in all, whether they were kiddie pool or ocean deep....they were my desires and it was okay to want those things. Where we get disappointed in life is we expect things in a certain package, delivered in a certain way.
The universe/God dont work that way!
Alright so Ive been wanting a new job for forever! Now that I realize that its not the job I want but the financial freedom, security and independence....it opens my eyes to all types of options. Those things I really want may not come in the form of a job. So though I may have applied for a job this past Friday (which I did) and really want the job because its something that I would enjoy (which it is) the universe may know something I dont. This job may not give me everything I want and the universe may have something happen behind the scenes that may block me from getting the job. An opportunity for me to create my own line of graphic and screen tees might be right around the corner. (also something I wanna do...along with shot glasses...stay tune) Which means, if I do not get a phone call back for this job...I shouldnt get disappointed....I should get excited. Why?
Because anything we want is ours and faith in that one statement is all you need to see your dreams manifest.
This job may only give me ONE of the things I want where my own line of t-shirts may give me ALL the things I want. This concept has stopped my worry. This concept has choked out my need for control. (I know Im not the only A-type Bitch around these parts) It has stopped fear in all forms on this side. All my desires are already mine.
So yes sometimes you ask for a butterfly and God gives you a Caterpillar! Stop trippin and get excited about how awesome the opportunity will be. Raising one Caterpillar may give you the skill to have an endless supply of butterflies! You want to get married and have the BEST marriage anyone has seen. I mean you wanna KICK ASS in the married life. Well maybe in order to have that kick assness that dude you have been hoping to notice you HAS TO IGNORE YOUR ASS! lol.
NO need for disappointments. As a society we have way more faith in being disappointed than in things going our way and thats the best way to create your life to suck balls! Huge ones! I challenge you and myself to think about what you really want and why you really want it. Whats the intangible thing you are searching for? Then keep your eyes open child-hood wide and see what amazing way the universe answers your desire. Opportunities are everywhere....you just got have faith in them to see them! Love and Freedom!
There is no Spoon!
Seven
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
I praise you female Jesus aka Jennifer Hudson
Namaste Bitches!!!!!!
I am back. (dont act like you dont masturbate to my blog...you miss it!) I had to take a little time off. Dont know why but my spirit just got quiet on me but many life changing things have happened and lots to say.
The one Im the most excited about is of course the least important....WEIGHT LOSS! Praise Female Jesus!
Ive had issues with my weight ever since my dad told me I was fat in 8th grade. (I cant imagine why its going to be so hard to pick up the phone this Sunday....ahhhhh.....the joy of the Happy Father's Day Text) So I would lose weight just for my dads stamp of approval. Up and down often till I blew up to almost 170 pounds at 5"1. I lost 25 pounds and gained it back in the same amount of time I lost it. Then I kicked my dads approval in the balls, sprayed pepper spray and told it to stop stalking me and it did. That didnt make me lose the weight though but it did begin a love for my body. I began to attract really amazing men. That's when I realize:
Cinderella is a liar and a bitch because real men dont fall in love with doormats and victims!
I use to be able to look in the mirror and point out everything wrong. (dont act like im the only one) Ignoring everything thats right. So I began to focus on my wonderfulness with the same intense I did the shittiness (U never know how many words you use that you cant spell till you write a blog). I felt at home in my skin not realizing I was finding my amazing through internal competition with others. My internal dialogue was filled with jerk ass comments like "Yes, shes pretty but my butt is bigger than hers"....."Oh she's cute but my eyes are better than hers". The only reason why Id love something about me because it was BETTER than yours. (My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard! BTW.... My milkshake is chocolate with brownie bits) You couldnt tell me I didnt love myself with unconditional pure love. Until...
I met the man Im in "union" with now....
His ex wife (model-gorgeous), the mother of his son (blonde-blue eyed gorgeous) and the woman he just broke it off with (brian mcknight made a song about her-gorgeous....thats a fact btw) were all made with perfect ass beauty. I mean not, oh yeah she is pretty. NOPE. The kind of girls you stare at and question your strict loyalty to penis. The kind of beauty that makes you take your hand and move it slowly towards their face to touch them to see if they are real. There was no "Yes shes pretty but...." it was just .....DAMN!!!"
In this time, I realized how much shit was in me. How much garbage I allowed within my subconscious. Yes they were drop dead and alive gorgeous but that doesnt take away my beauty. Yes society may say they are beautiful but I say that Im beautiful. What the I believes is waaaaaay more powerful than what the WE say. Dont believe me?? Just think on how many compliments you have forgotten that people have given to you that you didnt believe because your I said differently. The moment the compliment hit your ear the I came in and said, "they are just being nice dont believe that". Lets not forget, Halle Berry wont let her own man see her without make-up and hair done...I believe she is perfect but her I says differently and thats all that matters.
Everybody is beautiful.....seriously....the quicker you believe that, I MEAN REALLY BELIEVE THAT....the quicker true love for yourself begins to bloom.
Did you know your aura/spirit is ten feet in diameter around you? It can expand to 50 MILES! Your spirit is waaaaay more of you than your body. Who really cares about how the eggs taste in a cake? Apparently we do cause thats how we treat ourselves. Now that I get that, losing the weight should be easy right???? WRONG!
I love to work out. LOVE IT! I love the smell and energy of the gym. I love saunas and steam rooms and that "High" feeling you get from working out. All of that and I could not get motivated to go. So I got a work out buddy. I lost about 3 pounds in 3 weeks which is...eh...but I knew what it was.....it was my lack of discipline with food.
I mean, I have got everything in check. The confidence, the love for myself and the gym so whats missing....lack of discipline. My favorite theme to ignore in my life. My car looks like The titans clashed in it. My room looks like lindsey lohan's life. My feet look like I kick bricks at the beach for a living. There are parts that need to be shaved that look like a Brillo pad unraveled. The list can go on. My father was in the military so he had us do shit I thought was extremely pointless. I constantly heard, "Once you get out of my house you can do what you want." And once I got out, I DID JUST THAT but.....
True freedom is found in balance.
I tried low carb. I tried low cal. I tried drink water before u eat. I tried starvation. U know whats the one thing in common with them all....all those diets were extreme in one way or another. So I heard, "I am you! You are me!" (soulfully annoying) weight watcher commercials just like everyone else. Every time I saw the commercial I wanted to hate it (like the Hills theme song) but i couldnt. Why? Female Jesus....Jennifer Hudson is amazing.
Though not a fan of her voice and music (but her "youre gonna love me" song in dream girls...genius).... Jennifer hudson got famous while being far from skinny. We loved her just the way she was because she did. A horrible tragedy happened where her family was murdered. Then an amazing thing happened she got engaged and had a baby. All the things happening in her life were major reasons to gain weight. She would have been validated by anyone (especially women because when we hit our cycle we bloat to the size of New Jersey Housewives arguments). Instead she lost weight. She looks amazing. Not more happy with herself (cuz that was already there) but more excited about life. She lost it for all the right reasons. I wanted that. So guess what I did....joined weight watchers.
Jennifer hudson wasnt the only one. Green Tea, an amazing local "on her way to being national" artist, went from a size 12 to a size 2 in a year and a half. Audrey, my spiritual mentor's (HEY MS ALMA) daughter, lost 60 pounds. My friend from high school has stayed at a size 2 for years thanks to weight watchers. So I just had to. If I can conquer my imbalance with food.....all other areas would fall into place. SO I signed up for 3 months for 58 dollars. Its one of the best things Ive done. Havent been on a week and I've lost a half an inch in my stomach and 2 pounds. It teaches you that you can go to a fast food restaurant and eat an big mac. If you crave it, do it! Just know you have eaten half of your points of the day. All veggies and fruit are zero points. So I can eat my big mac and veg out literally for the rest of the day and be waaaaaay under my points. Its not a diet it is really a change of the way you see food,
All in all, Im happy. Its been a long road with dealing with this body of mine but I feel amazing. Dont get it twisted, there are things Id like to change but thats not my focus. I realize how really pretty I am when I saw all of the good shit God gave me. The best part is that the amazing I now own doesnt come from anyone else but me. Which means, there is no time limit when I can get it, theres no cut off and its permanent. Ill keep yall posted on my progress. Love & freedom.
There is no Spoon
SEVEN
I am back. (dont act like you dont masturbate to my blog...you miss it!) I had to take a little time off. Dont know why but my spirit just got quiet on me but many life changing things have happened and lots to say.
The one Im the most excited about is of course the least important....WEIGHT LOSS! Praise Female Jesus!
Ive had issues with my weight ever since my dad told me I was fat in 8th grade. (I cant imagine why its going to be so hard to pick up the phone this Sunday....ahhhhh.....the joy of the Happy Father's Day Text) So I would lose weight just for my dads stamp of approval. Up and down often till I blew up to almost 170 pounds at 5"1. I lost 25 pounds and gained it back in the same amount of time I lost it. Then I kicked my dads approval in the balls, sprayed pepper spray and told it to stop stalking me and it did. That didnt make me lose the weight though but it did begin a love for my body. I began to attract really amazing men. That's when I realize:
Cinderella is a liar and a bitch because real men dont fall in love with doormats and victims!
I use to be able to look in the mirror and point out everything wrong. (dont act like im the only one) Ignoring everything thats right. So I began to focus on my wonderfulness with the same intense I did the shittiness (U never know how many words you use that you cant spell till you write a blog). I felt at home in my skin not realizing I was finding my amazing through internal competition with others. My internal dialogue was filled with jerk ass comments like "Yes, shes pretty but my butt is bigger than hers"....."Oh she's cute but my eyes are better than hers". The only reason why Id love something about me because it was BETTER than yours. (My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard! BTW.... My milkshake is chocolate with brownie bits) You couldnt tell me I didnt love myself with unconditional pure love. Until...
I met the man Im in "union" with now....
His ex wife (model-gorgeous), the mother of his son (blonde-blue eyed gorgeous) and the woman he just broke it off with (brian mcknight made a song about her-gorgeous....thats a fact btw) were all made with perfect ass beauty. I mean not, oh yeah she is pretty. NOPE. The kind of girls you stare at and question your strict loyalty to penis. The kind of beauty that makes you take your hand and move it slowly towards their face to touch them to see if they are real. There was no "Yes shes pretty but...." it was just .....DAMN!!!"
In this time, I realized how much shit was in me. How much garbage I allowed within my subconscious. Yes they were drop dead and alive gorgeous but that doesnt take away my beauty. Yes society may say they are beautiful but I say that Im beautiful. What the I believes is waaaaaay more powerful than what the WE say. Dont believe me?? Just think on how many compliments you have forgotten that people have given to you that you didnt believe because your I said differently. The moment the compliment hit your ear the I came in and said, "they are just being nice dont believe that". Lets not forget, Halle Berry wont let her own man see her without make-up and hair done...I believe she is perfect but her I says differently and thats all that matters.
Everybody is beautiful.....seriously....the quicker you believe that, I MEAN REALLY BELIEVE THAT....the quicker true love for yourself begins to bloom.
Did you know your aura/spirit is ten feet in diameter around you? It can expand to 50 MILES! Your spirit is waaaaay more of you than your body. Who really cares about how the eggs taste in a cake? Apparently we do cause thats how we treat ourselves. Now that I get that, losing the weight should be easy right???? WRONG!
I love to work out. LOVE IT! I love the smell and energy of the gym. I love saunas and steam rooms and that "High" feeling you get from working out. All of that and I could not get motivated to go. So I got a work out buddy. I lost about 3 pounds in 3 weeks which is...eh...but I knew what it was.....it was my lack of discipline with food.
I mean, I have got everything in check. The confidence, the love for myself and the gym so whats missing....lack of discipline. My favorite theme to ignore in my life. My car looks like The titans clashed in it. My room looks like lindsey lohan's life. My feet look like I kick bricks at the beach for a living. There are parts that need to be shaved that look like a Brillo pad unraveled. The list can go on. My father was in the military so he had us do shit I thought was extremely pointless. I constantly heard, "Once you get out of my house you can do what you want." And once I got out, I DID JUST THAT but.....
True freedom is found in balance.
I tried low carb. I tried low cal. I tried drink water before u eat. I tried starvation. U know whats the one thing in common with them all....all those diets were extreme in one way or another. So I heard, "I am you! You are me!" (soulfully annoying) weight watcher commercials just like everyone else. Every time I saw the commercial I wanted to hate it (like the Hills theme song) but i couldnt. Why? Female Jesus....Jennifer Hudson is amazing.
Though not a fan of her voice and music (but her "youre gonna love me" song in dream girls...genius).... Jennifer hudson got famous while being far from skinny. We loved her just the way she was because she did. A horrible tragedy happened where her family was murdered. Then an amazing thing happened she got engaged and had a baby. All the things happening in her life were major reasons to gain weight. She would have been validated by anyone (especially women because when we hit our cycle we bloat to the size of New Jersey Housewives arguments). Instead she lost weight. She looks amazing. Not more happy with herself (cuz that was already there) but more excited about life. She lost it for all the right reasons. I wanted that. So guess what I did....joined weight watchers.
Jennifer hudson wasnt the only one. Green Tea, an amazing local "on her way to being national" artist, went from a size 12 to a size 2 in a year and a half. Audrey, my spiritual mentor's (HEY MS ALMA) daughter, lost 60 pounds. My friend from high school has stayed at a size 2 for years thanks to weight watchers. So I just had to. If I can conquer my imbalance with food.....all other areas would fall into place. SO I signed up for 3 months for 58 dollars. Its one of the best things Ive done. Havent been on a week and I've lost a half an inch in my stomach and 2 pounds. It teaches you that you can go to a fast food restaurant and eat an big mac. If you crave it, do it! Just know you have eaten half of your points of the day. All veggies and fruit are zero points. So I can eat my big mac and veg out literally for the rest of the day and be waaaaaay under my points. Its not a diet it is really a change of the way you see food,
All in all, Im happy. Its been a long road with dealing with this body of mine but I feel amazing. Dont get it twisted, there are things Id like to change but thats not my focus. I realize how really pretty I am when I saw all of the good shit God gave me. The best part is that the amazing I now own doesnt come from anyone else but me. Which means, there is no time limit when I can get it, theres no cut off and its permanent. Ill keep yall posted on my progress. Love & freedom.
There is no Spoon
SEVEN
Thursday, May 31, 2012
RACHEL, PHOEBE, ROSS, JOEY, MONICA & CHANDLER
BUT ILL BE THERE FOR YOOOOOOUUUUU!
FRIENDS
Im not sure about the other cultures (Though Im pretty sure you guys went thru this too) but black women went thru this whole "All my women who independent throw your hands up at meeeaaaaaaa!!!" movement late nineties and early 2000s. This extreme mentality was birthed from our slightly bitter mothers telling us "dont you rely on no man" and from men getting really excited about not having to open up doors or pay for dinners anymore. (We were duped into thinking paying for shit was cool. lol) Everyone in our culture was supporting this "I can do bad all by myself" bullshit mindset for women and I bought into it. Big time! In result, I ended up doing just that....doing bad by myself. No man! No real friends! Just associates I called friends cuz it was the closest thing i had. (Oh and tv shows like girlfriends. I was so envious of those women) Ive run into so many lonely women and men its crazy. I believe it has a lot to do with society telling us that relationships are just a hindrance to success in every way.
Most men Ive ran into love women as friends. Not only for the option of occasional drunken sex (YUM!) but also because making friends with another dude isnt that easy. I never ever thought about that but us girls will create friendships with a woman in the bathroom who happened to have the same lipstick we had. Men dont do those things unless they dont mind always being mistaken as gay. ("Hey looka there....we are wearing the same jock strap!" not cool most times) Also men do really have emotions and romantic comedy-like feelings they cant share with his homeboy. (Ha ha ha Guy code sucks) Men's conversations over dinner is normally about sports, while watching sports and with a woman with huge boobs putting down a plate of hot wings. Women's conversation over dinner is similar to a psychologist and client on our second dinner. ("....And girl I almost cut him in his sleep because my ass was covered in toilet water but instead he woke up and apologized then we had the best sex of my life.....")
Whats my point?
My point is with women thinking they dont need friends and men sleeping with their female friends (Cuz you know at some point someone has a weak moment and then the friendship changes)....friendship has lost its value but not its importance....especially when it comes to spiritual advancement.
We need friends....men and women.
Truth is, you dont always think clearly. Truth is, not all your ideas are great or good. (or even okay) Truth is, humans are wired for relationships. If you think you can do this life by yourself you are in a heavy denial. We have to work on our relationships with our friends just as much as we work hard to get a promotion at our job. Friends are our promotion in life. They make everything better.
So if your homegirl doesnt like going anywhere with you because you hate putting lotion on...put lotion on. (something that happened to me) If your roommate thinks your cold because you come home and go straight to your room and lock your door without one peep....... peep at her once or twice when you come home (something else that happened to me) If your homeboy wants to grab some drinks for an hour or so...stop pretending your busy,..its just one hour! (again...me)
We are losing friends and friendships over simple things. Mostly over the catergory we put them in or expectations. This morning I saw 50 shades of red I was so angry. A person I considered to be a real good friend had did something I would have NEVER expected him to do. After talking with another friend I realize I was more upset at his failure in my expectations than I was with him. Knowing where your friends stand is extremely important to the success of your friendships.
Categories of Friends start.....now.....
Uplifters: these people are like little brothers and sisters. You give a lot to them but you do not expect anything back. Most of your conversations are about them. Most of the time you are paying. Most of the time yall have spent together is about THEM! But you love them because you see they are trying to be the best person they can be. They often have a sweet and open heart. Most times yall laugh A LOT! A lot of people will often fall in this category and you not know it. The bad thing about not knowing it is that you will expect them to be there for you and often they are not because they never were suppose to be.
Karma Friends (get what you give....give AND take): these people are there when you cry, when you're angry, when you laugh, when you get locked up...I mean the list goes on! Its a give and take. You hold their hair back when they throw up and then you hold theirs. You buy a round of beer and then they buy a round. These people are hard to come by but like dating get out there and find them. You love to work out, go to a spin class or go play basketball. You love to paint, take a painting class. Watch the game at the bar instead of at home. When you get there, be friendly and get to know people! In this category, you may have your soul mate. You both are learning similar lessons and at a similar pace. (These people are my favorite people in the whole world. Im hoping one of these friends become Oprah rich one day. Id love to be a Gayle)
Yodas: often we end up in a pickle. You go to your soul mate and they tell you to do what they would do but they dont have what you have. (Get it? LOL) Going to single friends about a relationship problem is a dumb solution. Going to a couple you admire about relationship issues...make much more sense. Going to someone about financial advice that has a 230 credit score is dumb. Going to a master business man with a 799 credit score...smart! You have to find people you admire, the master teachers of the areas you are having problems in so that you can call on them when you find yourself confused. We are their Uplifters. Make sure your master is stable enough to deal with that.
These categories helped me today. I was reminded that the friend that made me angry wasnt a bad person with evil intentions. He was just letting me know I placed him in the wrong category for right now. Friends do move categories and they will tell you which category they moved to with their actions. As long as this person isnt causing negative energy, drama and constant pain.....mend the friendship. Friends ARE needed. It is not weak to need them. If you have lost a friend recently, work on that friendship like its a project at work that CANT FAIL! Its time to get friendly! Love & Freedom!
There is no SPOON!
SEVEN
FRIENDS
Im not sure about the other cultures (Though Im pretty sure you guys went thru this too) but black women went thru this whole "All my women who independent throw your hands up at meeeaaaaaaa!!!" movement late nineties and early 2000s. This extreme mentality was birthed from our slightly bitter mothers telling us "dont you rely on no man" and from men getting really excited about not having to open up doors or pay for dinners anymore. (We were duped into thinking paying for shit was cool. lol) Everyone in our culture was supporting this "I can do bad all by myself" bullshit mindset for women and I bought into it. Big time! In result, I ended up doing just that....doing bad by myself. No man! No real friends! Just associates I called friends cuz it was the closest thing i had. (Oh and tv shows like girlfriends. I was so envious of those women) Ive run into so many lonely women and men its crazy. I believe it has a lot to do with society telling us that relationships are just a hindrance to success in every way.
Most men Ive ran into love women as friends. Not only for the option of occasional drunken sex (YUM!) but also because making friends with another dude isnt that easy. I never ever thought about that but us girls will create friendships with a woman in the bathroom who happened to have the same lipstick we had. Men dont do those things unless they dont mind always being mistaken as gay. ("Hey looka there....we are wearing the same jock strap!" not cool most times) Also men do really have emotions and romantic comedy-like feelings they cant share with his homeboy. (Ha ha ha Guy code sucks) Men's conversations over dinner is normally about sports, while watching sports and with a woman with huge boobs putting down a plate of hot wings. Women's conversation over dinner is similar to a psychologist and client on our second dinner. ("....And girl I almost cut him in his sleep because my ass was covered in toilet water but instead he woke up and apologized then we had the best sex of my life.....")
Whats my point?
My point is with women thinking they dont need friends and men sleeping with their female friends (Cuz you know at some point someone has a weak moment and then the friendship changes)....friendship has lost its value but not its importance....especially when it comes to spiritual advancement.
We need friends....men and women.
Truth is, you dont always think clearly. Truth is, not all your ideas are great or good. (or even okay) Truth is, humans are wired for relationships. If you think you can do this life by yourself you are in a heavy denial. We have to work on our relationships with our friends just as much as we work hard to get a promotion at our job. Friends are our promotion in life. They make everything better.
So if your homegirl doesnt like going anywhere with you because you hate putting lotion on...put lotion on. (something that happened to me) If your roommate thinks your cold because you come home and go straight to your room and lock your door without one peep....... peep at her once or twice when you come home (something else that happened to me) If your homeboy wants to grab some drinks for an hour or so...stop pretending your busy,..its just one hour! (again...me)
We are losing friends and friendships over simple things. Mostly over the catergory we put them in or expectations. This morning I saw 50 shades of red I was so angry. A person I considered to be a real good friend had did something I would have NEVER expected him to do. After talking with another friend I realize I was more upset at his failure in my expectations than I was with him. Knowing where your friends stand is extremely important to the success of your friendships.
Categories of Friends start.....now.....
Uplifters: these people are like little brothers and sisters. You give a lot to them but you do not expect anything back. Most of your conversations are about them. Most of the time you are paying. Most of the time yall have spent together is about THEM! But you love them because you see they are trying to be the best person they can be. They often have a sweet and open heart. Most times yall laugh A LOT! A lot of people will often fall in this category and you not know it. The bad thing about not knowing it is that you will expect them to be there for you and often they are not because they never were suppose to be.
Karma Friends (get what you give....give AND take): these people are there when you cry, when you're angry, when you laugh, when you get locked up...I mean the list goes on! Its a give and take. You hold their hair back when they throw up and then you hold theirs. You buy a round of beer and then they buy a round. These people are hard to come by but like dating get out there and find them. You love to work out, go to a spin class or go play basketball. You love to paint, take a painting class. Watch the game at the bar instead of at home. When you get there, be friendly and get to know people! In this category, you may have your soul mate. You both are learning similar lessons and at a similar pace. (These people are my favorite people in the whole world. Im hoping one of these friends become Oprah rich one day. Id love to be a Gayle)
Yodas: often we end up in a pickle. You go to your soul mate and they tell you to do what they would do but they dont have what you have. (Get it? LOL) Going to single friends about a relationship problem is a dumb solution. Going to a couple you admire about relationship issues...make much more sense. Going to someone about financial advice that has a 230 credit score is dumb. Going to a master business man with a 799 credit score...smart! You have to find people you admire, the master teachers of the areas you are having problems in so that you can call on them when you find yourself confused. We are their Uplifters. Make sure your master is stable enough to deal with that.
These categories helped me today. I was reminded that the friend that made me angry wasnt a bad person with evil intentions. He was just letting me know I placed him in the wrong category for right now. Friends do move categories and they will tell you which category they moved to with their actions. As long as this person isnt causing negative energy, drama and constant pain.....mend the friendship. Friends ARE needed. It is not weak to need them. If you have lost a friend recently, work on that friendship like its a project at work that CANT FAIL! Its time to get friendly! Love & Freedom!
There is no SPOON!
SEVEN
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Freaky Hump day Wednesday: Smells Like Weed....Smells Like Peace
SO its Freaky Hump day Wednesday. Which means I talk about something people outside of fight club (spiritual world) dont know about. Today we speak on Sage!
Alright so as Ive mentioned 7 times before, I just moved into a new place. I am too excited about it. The moment my roommate and I saw it (which was 10 mins AFTER we signed the lease...yeah we are amazing) we began to run around like two black women at a Baptist church. Everything about it yelled "Welcome Home Bitches!" We had four of our wonderful, sexy, African American men friends come over and help us move. They were talking about our asses, trying to convince us to have an orgy (which started as my idea), making fun of my furniture and making jokes about my wrong estimate of how long the move was going to be.....I mean Bacardi 151 straight up good times. (Im an alpha female so busting balls is my kind of a good time) Seriously, most of their energy wasnt spent on moving....it was spent on stomach contractions because they laughed that much. All of us really had a ball. Little did I know how incredibly important that was.
After everything was said and done both my significant other (the sexiest best friend Ive ever had) and my mom said it felt sooooo peaceful. I agreed. The house felt similar to the space where a sunset and a blue ocean meet. It just felt good. I began to worry.
My last space I called house (not home....it sucked like fellatio) was just icky. My roommate was often depressed and I never wanted to be there (and wasnt) and I was afraid we had brought that over to the new crib. (Negative energy can be like roaches.) I asked around for Sage and directions for clearing my house because my used of Sage before was AMAZEBALLS. My most recent awesomeness with it was for my sleep. My fear (which has dramatically decreased THANK GOD) of *Darth Vader Voice* "The Dark Side" of spirituality makes me a fantastic target to be mess with. Ive had this problem ever since I was little.
Every time I got really connected to the spiritual world, no matter what denomination we were in, I would began to see "them". Not knowing when you are happy, full of love and not afraid of them you become boring and they leave you alone. Well I guess my fear had come back without my knowing and I couldnt sleep due to this. It felt like a low panic attack or nervous stomach all over my body all night. It happened two nights in a row so the third night, I smudged the bedroom (was at my best friends house) with Sage and slept like a baby. (I swear Sage is like Microwaveable Peace....a Ramen Noodle Shalom)
With that being said, I didnt want any left over negative energy from those who use to live in my new space nor from our last apartment so I was on an Indiana Jones search for some Sage. Until..... I came home yesterday to shower after Zumba (I love shaking my ass and calling it exercise!) and was talking to my roommate about how awesome it felt in our apartment. She then pointed out the moment she stepped in our last place it felt dark and disturbing which was totally the opposite with this space. It puzzled me because she was right and I wondered what was different.
It was our movers!
My sexy, black men friends brought the spirit of joy with them. Dont underestimate that. Happiness is one thing but Joy....brings so much with it. Each piece of furniture, plate, vase and washing machine was covered in laughter. Which means the next time you feel dark or heavy....its time to do something light (or something full of it) something silly. Dye your hair, buy "day of the week" underwear so when someone asks you what day it is you check your panties, have a water balloon fight or if you are daring like me....play tag in Wal-mart (actually something I did after college). Joy is so important for peace.
I will still Sage my spot just to keep the positive energy flowing along with crystals (which will get to later). Just to ensure that anything my aura picked up from random people(like the lady on the treadmill talkin to herself) isnt lingering in my room. Its like a detox for your house and you!
The Native Americans used it as a sort of first aid kit. It brought people's body back to balance by getting rid of the negative energy that followed them. Be warned it smells like weed unless you get it mixed with something else (lavender is awesome) and you can get it at any whole food store. If you are feeling depressed, clumsy, forgetful or that you just cant catch a break....sage yourself. There are many methods and all of them work if your intention is set right. You dont have to believe me...try it! You'll be surprised how awesome it is. There's a link below if you would like to order some!
If you have "Saged" yourself or something before PLEASE post your methods. Id love to see them and ensure my readers Im not crazy! Love & Freedom.
There is No Spoon
SEVEN
Alright so as Ive mentioned 7 times before, I just moved into a new place. I am too excited about it. The moment my roommate and I saw it (which was 10 mins AFTER we signed the lease...yeah we are amazing) we began to run around like two black women at a Baptist church. Everything about it yelled "Welcome Home Bitches!" We had four of our wonderful, sexy, African American men friends come over and help us move. They were talking about our asses, trying to convince us to have an orgy (which started as my idea), making fun of my furniture and making jokes about my wrong estimate of how long the move was going to be.....I mean Bacardi 151 straight up good times. (Im an alpha female so busting balls is my kind of a good time) Seriously, most of their energy wasnt spent on moving....it was spent on stomach contractions because they laughed that much. All of us really had a ball. Little did I know how incredibly important that was.
After everything was said and done both my significant other (the sexiest best friend Ive ever had) and my mom said it felt sooooo peaceful. I agreed. The house felt similar to the space where a sunset and a blue ocean meet. It just felt good. I began to worry.
My last space I called house (not home....it sucked like fellatio) was just icky. My roommate was often depressed and I never wanted to be there (and wasnt) and I was afraid we had brought that over to the new crib. (Negative energy can be like roaches.) I asked around for Sage and directions for clearing my house because my used of Sage before was AMAZEBALLS. My most recent awesomeness with it was for my sleep. My fear (which has dramatically decreased THANK GOD) of *Darth Vader Voice* "The Dark Side" of spirituality makes me a fantastic target to be mess with. Ive had this problem ever since I was little.
Every time I got really connected to the spiritual world, no matter what denomination we were in, I would began to see "them". Not knowing when you are happy, full of love and not afraid of them you become boring and they leave you alone. Well I guess my fear had come back without my knowing and I couldnt sleep due to this. It felt like a low panic attack or nervous stomach all over my body all night. It happened two nights in a row so the third night, I smudged the bedroom (was at my best friends house) with Sage and slept like a baby. (I swear Sage is like Microwaveable Peace....a Ramen Noodle Shalom)
With that being said, I didnt want any left over negative energy from those who use to live in my new space nor from our last apartment so I was on an Indiana Jones search for some Sage. Until..... I came home yesterday to shower after Zumba (I love shaking my ass and calling it exercise!) and was talking to my roommate about how awesome it felt in our apartment. She then pointed out the moment she stepped in our last place it felt dark and disturbing which was totally the opposite with this space. It puzzled me because she was right and I wondered what was different.
It was our movers!
My sexy, black men friends brought the spirit of joy with them. Dont underestimate that. Happiness is one thing but Joy....brings so much with it. Each piece of furniture, plate, vase and washing machine was covered in laughter. Which means the next time you feel dark or heavy....its time to do something light (or something full of it) something silly. Dye your hair, buy "day of the week" underwear so when someone asks you what day it is you check your panties, have a water balloon fight or if you are daring like me....play tag in Wal-mart (actually something I did after college). Joy is so important for peace.
I will still Sage my spot just to keep the positive energy flowing along with crystals (which will get to later). Just to ensure that anything my aura picked up from random people(like the lady on the treadmill talkin to herself) isnt lingering in my room. Its like a detox for your house and you!
The Native Americans used it as a sort of first aid kit. It brought people's body back to balance by getting rid of the negative energy that followed them. Be warned it smells like weed unless you get it mixed with something else (lavender is awesome) and you can get it at any whole food store. If you are feeling depressed, clumsy, forgetful or that you just cant catch a break....sage yourself. There are many methods and all of them work if your intention is set right. You dont have to believe me...try it! You'll be surprised how awesome it is. There's a link below if you would like to order some!
If you have "Saged" yourself or something before PLEASE post your methods. Id love to see them and ensure my readers Im not crazy! Love & Freedom.
There is No Spoon
SEVEN
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
You Cant Get It...IF YOU WANT IT!!!
Okay, whoever came up with the concept of "take your own advice" should be shot in the foot. (pinky toe specifically) So recently I was talking with my girls (whad up NY, DC/Bmore, PORTLAND and CALI) and they asked me a very simple but important question......how do you manifest things faster?
Now Im nooooooo Wayne Dyer (my boyfriend as I call him in private circles) or Oprah but there a kabillion things you can do to manifest things in your life faster. Your magic wands are your thoughts/intentions and your magic spells are your words. Just like you have seen in Aladdin (one of my favs), Harry Potter or even Star Wars....you can make things appear in your life out of the extreme diet, very thin air. So get out there and read some books. (Theres a link below on some great books if you are interested) If you want any recommendations hit me up in the comments. If this is the first time you are hearing about the powerful Jedi we all have the potential of becoming then Id start with the book "The Secret". With all that said and with all my reading and with all my listening Ive come up with these three steps of manifestation that kinda sums up everything.
Ask, Believe and *Italian voice* forget ta bout it!
Worry is one of the fastest killers of dreams manifesting. Wanting something is actually giving off the vibration that you do not have it. That you are lacking. And when you focus on lack....guess what you get.....more LACK! Its okay to ask in a vibration of "Wouldn't it be nice if I had an extra 1,000 dollars a month?" But it is a whooooole other thing when you say "I'm broke and I want 1,000 so I wont be poor anymore." Those are two different vibrations and they both manifest very differently. After you ask AND BELIEVE that the thing will come to you....you should forget about it. Why? Here's another example that I read in a book somewhere.
Say you are at a Pizza Hut (Pizza hut if you are reading this, I need a percentage for advertisement or free pizza for life....either one Im cool with) and you go up to the counter and say "I want a large stuffed crust pepperoni pizza with pineapples." (don't knock it till you try it!) When you go to pay for your pizza, what do you expect? A large round of cheezy goodness with circles of pork and triangles of island heaven....thats what you expect. What I am saying is most of us have more faith in Pizza Hut than in God/Universe. All of your needs are met......already.....right now....done.
So here we are. All that awesome knowledge I just kicked to yall sounds not only amazing but annoying to my ears because today.....I AM STRUGGLIN! I want to begin my career. I went to school to help people....well children (sometimes....Im not convinced that they are all the way human all of the time) and I do not feel I am doing that. SO, I began looking for a job in my career field. I have found almost 5 where I easily fit but all of them feel wrong. I was told about 2 months ago by a very dear friend that her company will start a Therapeutic Day Counseling program soon. (Waiting on an approval thru medicare) In the meantime, Ive been restless and have not felt calm about any other job Ive looked at. (Since Im a "feeler"....if it doesnt FEEL right...I dont move. Thats how the spirit world speaks to me) Today, my close friend told me they will be revealing if the program will be moving forward or not next Tuesday and if it does, I can apply for the position and HOPE I get it.
Ive been freaking out all day.
Trying to convince myself that I deserve this. Trying to make myself believe that its okay to be this happy AND have the career of my dreams. Trying to make myself believe that I am qualified. Trying to make myself believe in my heart that this job is mine. And its been hard. Im not a person with low self esteem and I can personify an idea quicker than "The View" can start an argument but something about my career scares me. Once I can find the calm (which will probably be in the middle of a Epsom salt bath, chocolate and raspberry wine), It will all work out. The people around me believe everything will turn for, not only my good, but for my great. I havent grasped this yet. I tell you this much, I will do everything I can to make sure I do. Starting with asking the Universe/God to send me an epiphany that will help me believe. I'll keep you guys posted on how it goes. Love & Freedom!
There is no spoon
Seven
Now Im nooooooo Wayne Dyer (my boyfriend as I call him in private circles) or Oprah but there a kabillion things you can do to manifest things in your life faster. Your magic wands are your thoughts/intentions and your magic spells are your words. Just like you have seen in Aladdin (one of my favs), Harry Potter or even Star Wars....you can make things appear in your life out of the extreme diet, very thin air. So get out there and read some books. (Theres a link below on some great books if you are interested) If you want any recommendations hit me up in the comments. If this is the first time you are hearing about the powerful Jedi we all have the potential of becoming then Id start with the book "The Secret". With all that said and with all my reading and with all my listening Ive come up with these three steps of manifestation that kinda sums up everything.
Ask, Believe and *Italian voice* forget ta bout it!
Worry is one of the fastest killers of dreams manifesting. Wanting something is actually giving off the vibration that you do not have it. That you are lacking. And when you focus on lack....guess what you get.....more LACK! Its okay to ask in a vibration of "Wouldn't it be nice if I had an extra 1,000 dollars a month?" But it is a whooooole other thing when you say "I'm broke and I want 1,000 so I wont be poor anymore." Those are two different vibrations and they both manifest very differently. After you ask AND BELIEVE that the thing will come to you....you should forget about it. Why? Here's another example that I read in a book somewhere.
Say you are at a Pizza Hut (Pizza hut if you are reading this, I need a percentage for advertisement or free pizza for life....either one Im cool with) and you go up to the counter and say "I want a large stuffed crust pepperoni pizza with pineapples." (don't knock it till you try it!) When you go to pay for your pizza, what do you expect? A large round of cheezy goodness with circles of pork and triangles of island heaven....thats what you expect. What I am saying is most of us have more faith in Pizza Hut than in God/Universe. All of your needs are met......already.....right now....done.
So here we are. All that awesome knowledge I just kicked to yall sounds not only amazing but annoying to my ears because today.....I AM STRUGGLIN! I want to begin my career. I went to school to help people....well children (sometimes....Im not convinced that they are all the way human all of the time) and I do not feel I am doing that. SO, I began looking for a job in my career field. I have found almost 5 where I easily fit but all of them feel wrong. I was told about 2 months ago by a very dear friend that her company will start a Therapeutic Day Counseling program soon. (Waiting on an approval thru medicare) In the meantime, Ive been restless and have not felt calm about any other job Ive looked at. (Since Im a "feeler"....if it doesnt FEEL right...I dont move. Thats how the spirit world speaks to me) Today, my close friend told me they will be revealing if the program will be moving forward or not next Tuesday and if it does, I can apply for the position and HOPE I get it.
Ive been freaking out all day.
Trying to convince myself that I deserve this. Trying to make myself believe that its okay to be this happy AND have the career of my dreams. Trying to make myself believe that I am qualified. Trying to make myself believe in my heart that this job is mine. And its been hard. Im not a person with low self esteem and I can personify an idea quicker than "The View" can start an argument but something about my career scares me. Once I can find the calm (which will probably be in the middle of a Epsom salt bath, chocolate and raspberry wine), It will all work out. The people around me believe everything will turn for, not only my good, but for my great. I havent grasped this yet. I tell you this much, I will do everything I can to make sure I do. Starting with asking the Universe/God to send me an epiphany that will help me believe. I'll keep you guys posted on how it goes. Love & Freedom!
There is no spoon
Seven
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Get THE HELL outta here....now!
Okay so I just made me your girlfriend/boyfriend (I was a Indian man in my past life plus my current balls qualify me to be a boyfriend) and I come to you on the first date after we make it official and I say, "If you dont love me, I will throw you in a fire and watch you burn!"
Yeah, you'd call the cops so they can put me in a white leather coat with buckles all over it.
What makes people think that a God made from 100% real LOVE (anybody else thinking of that song in the 90s by crystal waters....no worries....Ill put it in the blog) would tell you the same thing? That whole message of love me or go to hell is based in fear. There is no fear in God. NONE! Anytime I hear someone tell me "God said (insert fear, guilt, anger quote) today....." I tune them out. Anger is not love.
Am I the only one who has seen that the most angry Christians seem to really love "Old Testament" God. They really believe God destroyed generations because they were bad. For those who have kids, would you ever kill your children because they disobeyed you? Like really imagine yourself saying, "Bobby I told you to clean your room for the last 3 years and you still WONT DO IT. Open up so I can put this gun in your mouth." (I know you have thought about it...I'm talking about ACTUALLY doing it...i hear you! lol) No! You wouldnt do that. Some cities disappeared because of natural disasters that they couldnt explain because they dont have a "Doppler" and a helicopter to go in the sky and predict weather patterns. I wouldnt be suprised if Sodom and Gomora burned because of one unfortunate candle accident. Everyone at that time believed gods were in control of things like rain. They didnt know about evaporation and condensation shit we were taught in second grade. So alot of things were said from a lack of technology. God has been blamed for stuff that was Mother Earth's fault. (I mean, women really know how to flip any blame on to a man. Its a skill that comes with the vagina) Point blank, God loves you, God sees you always as perfect because your spirit is, God never wants you to suffer....bottom line God thinks you are, simply put, AMAZEBALLS! OH and No God doesnt kill.
These things have made us look at love in a very fearful way especially towards ourselves. One of the biggest things I had to unlearn is that the concept that I am not perfect. This concept is taught in Sunday school (Which I aced by the way. Straight A's) that you are perfect only because Jesus came to save us. He did come to save us from the mindset that lacked compassion and mercy but you were perfect when you were born. You were not born into sin. If you believe we are, the next time you hold an infant, let them know they are going to hell cuz they dont know Jesus. Rock them to sleep singing damnation. (Lullabies arent a bad choice.....like what person who calls themselves a good parent would put a cradle in a tree top)
One reason I do not believe in hell is because I take care of other people's children all day (yes Im in the childcare profession but ODU is holding my degree hostage and Im paying off the ransom every month but still looking to do jobs in education and alternative health/spirituality...just putting that out there) and could never say to my kids "At the end of my time working here, I will be sending one of you to Disney world for being good and the other I will let loose a wasp nest in a closed room with you in it because you disobeyed me so much." I dont care how insane they've been. I feel this way and I have no children of my own. I could only imagine how you parents feel....and further more GOD.
We are beautiful people. (Anybody thinking of the chris brown song beautiful people? I put it on when my self esteem gets low and dance in my underwear. Dont worry I'll put it in the blog) Yes, you cussed out you husband yesterday and left a soggy diaper on for 3 hours on your kid. Yes, you dont wash your hands and pick your nose. Yes, it took you 6 years to complete college and you still drive a car that you have to manually roll down the windows. You are perfect. The real you is unconditional love. Now go ahead and "four letter word" yourself! (WHAT! Im talkin about l.o.v.e) Love & Freedom.
There is No Spoon
Seven
Yeah, you'd call the cops so they can put me in a white leather coat with buckles all over it.
What makes people think that a God made from 100% real LOVE (anybody else thinking of that song in the 90s by crystal waters....no worries....Ill put it in the blog) would tell you the same thing? That whole message of love me or go to hell is based in fear. There is no fear in God. NONE! Anytime I hear someone tell me "God said (insert fear, guilt, anger quote) today....." I tune them out. Anger is not love.
Am I the only one who has seen that the most angry Christians seem to really love "Old Testament" God. They really believe God destroyed generations because they were bad. For those who have kids, would you ever kill your children because they disobeyed you? Like really imagine yourself saying, "Bobby I told you to clean your room for the last 3 years and you still WONT DO IT. Open up so I can put this gun in your mouth." (I know you have thought about it...I'm talking about ACTUALLY doing it...i hear you! lol) No! You wouldnt do that. Some cities disappeared because of natural disasters that they couldnt explain because they dont have a "Doppler" and a helicopter to go in the sky and predict weather patterns. I wouldnt be suprised if Sodom and Gomora burned because of one unfortunate candle accident. Everyone at that time believed gods were in control of things like rain. They didnt know about evaporation and condensation shit we were taught in second grade. So alot of things were said from a lack of technology. God has been blamed for stuff that was Mother Earth's fault. (I mean, women really know how to flip any blame on to a man. Its a skill that comes with the vagina) Point blank, God loves you, God sees you always as perfect because your spirit is, God never wants you to suffer....bottom line God thinks you are, simply put, AMAZEBALLS! OH and No God doesnt kill.
These things have made us look at love in a very fearful way especially towards ourselves. One of the biggest things I had to unlearn is that the concept that I am not perfect. This concept is taught in Sunday school (Which I aced by the way. Straight A's) that you are perfect only because Jesus came to save us. He did come to save us from the mindset that lacked compassion and mercy but you were perfect when you were born. You were not born into sin. If you believe we are, the next time you hold an infant, let them know they are going to hell cuz they dont know Jesus. Rock them to sleep singing damnation. (Lullabies arent a bad choice.....like what person who calls themselves a good parent would put a cradle in a tree top)
One reason I do not believe in hell is because I take care of other people's children all day (yes Im in the childcare profession but ODU is holding my degree hostage and Im paying off the ransom every month but still looking to do jobs in education and alternative health/spirituality...just putting that out there) and could never say to my kids "At the end of my time working here, I will be sending one of you to Disney world for being good and the other I will let loose a wasp nest in a closed room with you in it because you disobeyed me so much." I dont care how insane they've been. I feel this way and I have no children of my own. I could only imagine how you parents feel....and further more GOD.
We are beautiful people. (Anybody thinking of the chris brown song beautiful people? I put it on when my self esteem gets low and dance in my underwear. Dont worry I'll put it in the blog) Yes, you cussed out you husband yesterday and left a soggy diaper on for 3 hours on your kid. Yes, you dont wash your hands and pick your nose. Yes, it took you 6 years to complete college and you still drive a car that you have to manually roll down the windows. You are perfect. The real you is unconditional love. Now go ahead and "four letter word" yourself! (WHAT! Im talkin about l.o.v.e) Love & Freedom.
There is No Spoon
Seven
Freaky Hump day: The Language of the Spirit World
I hope this info helps you as much as it helped me. There are four categories of perception in which you can connect to the spiritual realm.
INTUTION: the level heads who hear their guidance. ( Close ur eyes and listen to ur favorite song....thats how they hear their messages)
VISIONARY: the organizers who SEE their guidance. ( Close ur eyes and remember ur least vacation)
FEELING: the sensitive ones who feel their guidance. (ever meet someone and get a bad vibe automatically....they do that with everything).
PROPHETS: the spacey people who have a gut feeling knowing about their guidance (knowing someone is going to call before they do).
EVERYONE HAS ALL GIFTS but there is a primary gift and secondary gift you automatically flow in without practice. My gift order is feeling, visionary, intuitive and prophet. I thought my primary gift was visionary ( I have photographic memory and see angels all the time) but after I went to see Ms Alma (awesome woman who went to school for this stuff and shes on the facebook page for this blog) she did an angel reading and corrected me and told me its normal that people feel their secondary gift is their first because their first gift comes so naturally it's unnoticed.
Here are some videos on each. See which one you relate to the most. It'll help you notice your spiritual guidance more. Angels, your guides assigned to you by God, and all the rest of your heavenly beings talk to you. Telling you which way to go, sending you love and encouragement....you just havent noticed which language you speak. Now you will!
INTUTION: the level heads who hear their guidance. ( Close ur eyes and listen to ur favorite song....thats how they hear their messages)
VISIONARY: the organizers who SEE their guidance. ( Close ur eyes and remember ur least vacation)
FEELING: the sensitive ones who feel their guidance. (ever meet someone and get a bad vibe automatically....they do that with everything).
PROPHETS: the spacey people who have a gut feeling knowing about their guidance (knowing someone is going to call before they do).
EVERYONE HAS ALL GIFTS but there is a primary gift and secondary gift you automatically flow in without practice. My gift order is feeling, visionary, intuitive and prophet. I thought my primary gift was visionary ( I have photographic memory and see angels all the time) but after I went to see Ms Alma (awesome woman who went to school for this stuff and shes on the facebook page for this blog) she did an angel reading and corrected me and told me its normal that people feel their secondary gift is their first because their first gift comes so naturally it's unnoticed.
Here are some videos on each. See which one you relate to the most. It'll help you notice your spiritual guidance more. Angels, your guides assigned to you by God, and all the rest of your heavenly beings talk to you. Telling you which way to go, sending you love and encouragement....you just havent noticed which language you speak. Now you will!
The Gift of Feeling
The Gift of Intuition
The Gift of Prophecy
The Gift of Vision
Love & Freedom
There is no spoon
SEVEN
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Im Crazy...THATS WHY IM DEEPER THAN YOU!
Ok............... so................ was I the only person who was FED UP with people who spoke to "higher beings" all the time? Then those deep farts of greatness would have the NERVE to turn around and tell us that WE ALL can do the same thing! So me, no longer trusting my own judgement for my lifes descions, (shout out to "insert Seven's exs") would do rain dances, hours of meditation, read my Bible cover to cover and drank until i was unconcious.....i mean anything that will bring that voice of guidence near. My jealousy for individuals like this was at an all time high when I was inside of religion. It felt like everyone was talking to God but me. It felt like it feels when you walk in a room and you have that feeling everyone in the room JUST was talking about you. I felt that every time ushers would walk me to my seat.
I swaer id go home and screamat God. Screaming Her (lol...love doing that pronoun to mix it up) name as if Im having the greatest sex of my life. Asking her all types of questions and waiting for an event similar to Saul's transfermation (with the Ass and The Angel....the big AA) to happen to tell me if I should have a second date. Screaming so much that Im not paying attention to the dudes actual actions. (like the fact he brought up Germans when the bill came) WELL FINALLY....all my confusion has come to this, I finally know what the hell theyve been talking about.
Here it is:
God (or angels or guides or holy spirit......basically higher beings) is multi-lingual! She speaks in the form of repetitive sequences, total strrangers, road signs and drivers licenses plates (my favorite language). There are a lot of languages but the most important heavenly guided language comes in your head in your voice...your higher self.
It pops up when you have to make a choice of whether to take the highway or the side roads to avoid traffic. Or when you've said "something told me to do that". Its the voice that God speaks through. You are walking out of the house and it just "feels" like you forgot something. Or you are driving and "something" tells you to slow down. These are examples of "the voice" (not the one with Adam and Cee-lo) that people hear. Im figuring out whats my ego (fearful side) and whats my higher self because I know there is a part of everyone that is always plugged into God or the Universe. You just have stay on that frequency, that radio station....that spiritual frequency. Meditation keeps me on that frequency. You have to find what keeps you there.
I started paying attention to this "voice" and its been AMAZING! Its at a whisper right now (like black people at the movie theater whisper but still a whisper!) but the more practice I do....the louder it gets. I ask it if I should buy those shoes now or later. I ask if I should apply for a job now or later. I mean, the list goes on and on and on! Its really been remarkable. Its avoided me from arguements, its translated peoples feelings to me from another state, it for certain help me not forget things! I just love it man. I love to know Im not in this world alone and in the dark. Love & Freedom.
THERE IS NO SPOON
SEVEN
I swaer id go home and screamat God. Screaming Her (lol...love doing that pronoun to mix it up) name as if Im having the greatest sex of my life. Asking her all types of questions and waiting for an event similar to Saul's transfermation (with the Ass and The Angel....the big AA) to happen to tell me if I should have a second date. Screaming so much that Im not paying attention to the dudes actual actions. (like the fact he brought up Germans when the bill came) WELL FINALLY....all my confusion has come to this, I finally know what the hell theyve been talking about.
Here it is:
God (or angels or guides or holy spirit......basically higher beings) is multi-lingual! She speaks in the form of repetitive sequences, total strrangers, road signs and drivers licenses plates (my favorite language). There are a lot of languages but the most important heavenly guided language comes in your head in your voice...your higher self.
It pops up when you have to make a choice of whether to take the highway or the side roads to avoid traffic. Or when you've said "something told me to do that". Its the voice that God speaks through. You are walking out of the house and it just "feels" like you forgot something. Or you are driving and "something" tells you to slow down. These are examples of "the voice" (not the one with Adam and Cee-lo) that people hear. Im figuring out whats my ego (fearful side) and whats my higher self because I know there is a part of everyone that is always plugged into God or the Universe. You just have stay on that frequency, that radio station....that spiritual frequency. Meditation keeps me on that frequency. You have to find what keeps you there.
I started paying attention to this "voice" and its been AMAZING! Its at a whisper right now (like black people at the movie theater whisper but still a whisper!) but the more practice I do....the louder it gets. I ask it if I should buy those shoes now or later. I ask if I should apply for a job now or later. I mean, the list goes on and on and on! Its really been remarkable. Its avoided me from arguements, its translated peoples feelings to me from another state, it for certain help me not forget things! I just love it man. I love to know Im not in this world alone and in the dark. Love & Freedom.
THERE IS NO SPOON
SEVEN
Monday, May 21, 2012
Tears or Beer....I'll take BOTH
Today I had a choice. (Beyond calling out for work or working) It was a choice to be happy. I cannot lie to you. As I type, Im feeling a lil sad today. Even cried a lil. (Well a lot...like won an Oscar...alot) Did the whole ugly stuttering voice you do when you cry and talk at the same time. Asked myself questions to make me cry harder like "Why! Why didnt I apply for that job? Why am I still the same weight for 8 months now? WHY DIDNT I BUY THOSE DAMN SHOES!" After all that.....I was done and I made the choice to get happy.
But the most exciting thing isnt that I can literally feel saddness leaving my body. The thing Im MOST proud of isnt me choosing to be happy. What Im proud of, is actually feeling the emotion. Facing it! Everybody knows the feeling. Everyone has their own set of physical reactions that consistantly pop up after someone pushes your buttons (especially the one button colored in crayon from your childhood). My first feeling is shock......numbness. 5 mins later its a lump in my throat and big ass taradactals (not butterflies) that flap around in my heart and somehow provide to me gas. YES GAS! (Im cute and I fart....yes its true)
My immediate reaction is to supress it. Dont show any emotions. I shout out orders with my internal voice to all body parts. It sounds like a Sergant in the Army in the middle of war "STOMACH stop being so loud! HEAD and HEART stop pounding! THOART, take a leave of absence until you remove the lump! EYES stop the water works! AND MOUTH DONT YOU SAY ANYTHING THAT KINDA ELLUDES TO THE FACT THEY GOT UNDER MY SKIN" So in short, I shut down. I go into autopilot when Im in "HULK SMASH" mode. Why? Two reasons. One, I dont wanna make it worse. Two, I dont wanna hurt you. So I stuff it. Until my neighbor closes their door too hard and I park in their parking spot, smoke a black and mild till they return and throw bricks in their windows while they are still in their car.
This causes diseases. This causes a constant unexplainable, ever present anger or depression. This is called self inflicted stress.
So, Im proud. Im proud of the fact that I got hit in the heart and I faced it like it was a pie. I hung up the phone and cried immediately. While crying I figured out my REAL problem (which always seems to me and not them) and with the help of my guides, Im smiling.
I hope that if you are reading this right now, feeling like I did earlier or you always have this undercurrent of saddness/anger.....realize this.... you are stuffing too much and its time to face the music. (Hit repeat on the track callled MY FEELINGS)
Angry? Go to a kickboxing class. Sad? WRITE! Jealous, TAKE STRAIGHT SHOTS AND THEN POP BOTTLES! (joking...DANCE in the mirror naked without pointing out one bad thing about yourself) There are plenty of solutions! I dont feel like I did before my soul felt like Chris Brown was released on it but I am feeling a hell of a lot better than I did right after the punch. And I'll continue to climb up the latter of happiness. I hope you climb with me. Love and Freedom.
THERE IS NO SPOON
SEVEN
Friday, May 18, 2012
Return of the Mack!
So let's be honest here.....life can be a bitch! Like Kathy Griffin, Chole Kardashian, Joan Rivers, Trina, Sue Sylvester (love Jane Lynch) all combined. Sometimes you just don't feel like rainbows and butterflies. ( in the sky....I can go twice as high! Had to finish the song) Sometimes being spiritual is the last thing you wanna do because the first thing you wanna do (which is punch the dude in his face, drink a fifth of "insert fav liquor here" and smoke a little "insert your preference here") sounds way better and more fun might I add than PRAYING OR MEDITATING.
Sometimes you wanna put on a little Adele, Amy Winehouse, Billie Holiday and cry your eyes bloodshot red. Sometimes you wanna shake ur kid or "accidentally" forget ur child at daycare. Sometimes you'd rather pray for your exes downfall straight to hell rather than forgiveness. Sometimes you wanna burn his Xbox and sometimes you just wanna burn the woman in ur life (I mean she's a witch and that's what u do with witches right?)
All of this is normal
This year is full of wonderful things but the one huge wonderful thing that we are all dealing with....is....all the shit we haven't/don't/never have wanted to deal with. High frequencies in the Moon and Solar Flares disrupt your cellular memory which means all the low frequency (anger, unforgiveness, depression, self loathing....pretty much any emotion you see on reality tv) gets brought to the surface. ( this includes major traumas of your past too) Problem is you produce ur desires only when you feel GOOD! Feeling good and happy and joyous and drunk (scratch that last one) makes your heart open up and your at a high frequency therefore at a spot where it's very easy to match to the frequency of the very thing you want.
Feeling Good Is The Key To Delibrate (on purpose) Creation in ur life.
What Im finding works for bringing me from the darkness to the light....er side of life are crystals. (which harnesses earth energy.....WHY U LOOKIN AT ME LIKE IM WEIRD?) But if you're into the less weird stuff AFTER DEALING WITH WHATEVER PAIN HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO THE SURFACE try this: Be done with it.....don't bring it up and when ur mind wants to select that station on autopilot mode.....u change it to something else like one of ur favorite memories. You can't stop a bird from flying over ur head but u can stop it from making a nest.....ur thoughts are birds.
Remember the situation can only last as long as ur memory of it does.....it's not happening now but by bringing that situation in ur present moment it is. You control ur now moment always. Think about the positive things that happened around that time.
It's no secret ( if you know me) I'm not the biggest fan of my father. My parents are going through an ugly divorce right now after being married for 30 years. My father was Southern Gentleman who was in the military and was a leader in the church ( oh yeah, I'm the only girl so imagine my life. According him showing my ankles in an outfit was just too sexual!) so we bumped heads once I realized I had a voice.(and intelligent opinions which would allow anymore verbal abuse or control) But my Guides ( which are spirits that help me to expand love in my soul" have helped me tremendously with this forgiveness with him by playing songs from the eras I had the hardest times with my father.
"I wanna sex you up" by color me bad. "Return of the Mack" by that British guy have been played at least once a day in my life. Why? To remind me there were a lot of good times that I'm choosing to ignore because a couple of instances. It's just as easy to thing about the good things in my childhood than it is the bad. That is helping me heal. When I think of my dad spiking a volleyball to my face with smell of bar b que on the grill, collard greens, mac and cha and his famous sweet potato pie....it softens my heart toward him. Doesn't mean I will let him verbally abuse me even increase contact with him. It means Im releasing my darkness of him and myself from spirit.
I know ur facing a lot of old feelings now a days but face them and then raise your frequency by getting happy. You have the car of ur dreams to drive, the house of your fantasy to live in, the career you always wanted and the love of ur life waiting in the wings for u. You just got to get happy and forgive! Love and freedom.
A little Fun For You
THERE IS NO SPOON
SEVEN
Sometimes you wanna put on a little Adele, Amy Winehouse, Billie Holiday and cry your eyes bloodshot red. Sometimes you wanna shake ur kid or "accidentally" forget ur child at daycare. Sometimes you'd rather pray for your exes downfall straight to hell rather than forgiveness. Sometimes you wanna burn his Xbox and sometimes you just wanna burn the woman in ur life (I mean she's a witch and that's what u do with witches right?)
All of this is normal
This year is full of wonderful things but the one huge wonderful thing that we are all dealing with....is....all the shit we haven't/don't/never have wanted to deal with. High frequencies in the Moon and Solar Flares disrupt your cellular memory which means all the low frequency (anger, unforgiveness, depression, self loathing....pretty much any emotion you see on reality tv) gets brought to the surface. ( this includes major traumas of your past too) Problem is you produce ur desires only when you feel GOOD! Feeling good and happy and joyous and drunk (scratch that last one) makes your heart open up and your at a high frequency therefore at a spot where it's very easy to match to the frequency of the very thing you want.
Feeling Good Is The Key To Delibrate (on purpose) Creation in ur life.
What Im finding works for bringing me from the darkness to the light....er side of life are crystals. (which harnesses earth energy.....WHY U LOOKIN AT ME LIKE IM WEIRD?) But if you're into the less weird stuff AFTER DEALING WITH WHATEVER PAIN HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO THE SURFACE try this: Be done with it.....don't bring it up and when ur mind wants to select that station on autopilot mode.....u change it to something else like one of ur favorite memories. You can't stop a bird from flying over ur head but u can stop it from making a nest.....ur thoughts are birds.
Remember the situation can only last as long as ur memory of it does.....it's not happening now but by bringing that situation in ur present moment it is. You control ur now moment always. Think about the positive things that happened around that time.
It's no secret ( if you know me) I'm not the biggest fan of my father. My parents are going through an ugly divorce right now after being married for 30 years. My father was Southern Gentleman who was in the military and was a leader in the church ( oh yeah, I'm the only girl so imagine my life. According him showing my ankles in an outfit was just too sexual!) so we bumped heads once I realized I had a voice.(and intelligent opinions which would allow anymore verbal abuse or control) But my Guides ( which are spirits that help me to expand love in my soul" have helped me tremendously with this forgiveness with him by playing songs from the eras I had the hardest times with my father.
"I wanna sex you up" by color me bad. "Return of the Mack" by that British guy have been played at least once a day in my life. Why? To remind me there were a lot of good times that I'm choosing to ignore because a couple of instances. It's just as easy to thing about the good things in my childhood than it is the bad. That is helping me heal. When I think of my dad spiking a volleyball to my face with smell of bar b que on the grill, collard greens, mac and cha and his famous sweet potato pie....it softens my heart toward him. Doesn't mean I will let him verbally abuse me even increase contact with him. It means Im releasing my darkness of him and myself from spirit.
I know ur facing a lot of old feelings now a days but face them and then raise your frequency by getting happy. You have the car of ur dreams to drive, the house of your fantasy to live in, the career you always wanted and the love of ur life waiting in the wings for u. You just got to get happy and forgive! Love and freedom.
A little Fun For You
more fun
TV shows too
SEVEN
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Freaky Hump Day Wed-day: How ICE Changed My Life
There are things in the spiritual community that is somewhat common knowledge but would probably be considered freaky and weird to outsiders. Every Wed (Yes this one is late) Id like to introduce some of that knowledge.
This movie changed the way I treated myself which in turn HAD to change how others treated me.
This comes from a movie called "What the bleep do we know"....its a bunch of scientist showing us evidence that there is more to life than what we know. This excerpt deals with emotions (an invisiable thing to the physical eye) and how different emotions show up physically in the body. By the time you are done, the harsh critism you have said to yourself will begin to stop.
This video goes into more depth about the different emotions.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
You will have BAD SEX, if you dont accept this GIFT!
Hey & Namaste
So many people are doing it so Imma just....ummm.....come right out and say this spiritual piece of wisdom with no lube or sugar.
STOP DOING SHIT FOR OTHER PEOPLE THAT YOU DON'T WANNA DO!
Listen I get it! I was and still am that chick who thinks I should give everything, ask for little and don't accept anything. The mentality is dated and STUPID and stops you from getting your desires spiritually!
Receiving is a feminine energy. (Just in case you don't know men also need feminine energy to balanced) And if you aren't receiving properly you are burned out, bitter, angry and depressed....OH......and you are having bad sex especially if you are a woman. (Spiritual imbalances manifest physically so NO not all men suck in bed...you have a spiritual disorder that wont ALLOW you to enjoy yourself) Lady parts (though some of us have huge balls) are made to receive for a reason.
Before I got the concept that I (And I mean I only.....like masturbation ONLY) am responsible for keeping my love pitcher full....I would give with the hopes someone would give back what I lost. I would give always in the spirit of sacrifice. In my path, Ive realize that quickly leads to resentment and disappointment. (And REALLY BAD SEX....i mean who leaves bite marks on a clit? Its happened to me) Having the constant expectation that people were my personal Genie (The Robin Williams one not "I dream of Genie") is not the life that leads to amazing!
Now, I give from my abundance.....my overflow
How did I get overflow......I love my neighbor AS I LOVE MYSELF. I come first. (In life and in sex now a days) Its not selfish, its me filling up my pitcher so I may love people properly! If your pitcher is dry, then kids get Cabernet drunk parents and spouses get cocaine habit partners and bosses get marijuana high workers and charities....get no one! The amount of fluid in my love pitcher is MY RESPONSIBILITY! And if someone decides to give me some love for my pitcher.....I add it to whats already there, not, have it be my only source from which my self-love flows. The toughest part of this lesson was recognizing when my pitcher was low and saying NO when it was.
NO.....such a powerful word.
No, I cant come over and watch your kids. No, you cant come over because you realize I cooked. No, I cant come to the meeting. No, I cant volunteer for that charity. No, I cant talk right now. No! NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!
If your pitcher is low....say NO and fill up your pitcher. STOP saying yes and thinking that its honorable that you are hating every moment of the favor. You don't look honorable...you look foolish.
How do you fill up your pitcher? Do the things you love. Take a looooong bath! Drink your coffee in peace on the porch! Read your favorite book under a tree! Plant something! Take a dance class! Eat new things! Make your own jewelry! Cook something new! This is how I began to love myself. I canceled alot of my involvement in other peoples lives and got involved in my own life.
I'm just saying.... WHAT RELAXES YOU???? If you don't know, you're not alone but go find out. And I hear you...."I don't have TIME. I have kids. I have a husband/wife/doing this by myself. I have a career" BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! Oh and a lot of
BULLSHIT!
Theres this thing call TV with lots of educational programs...put those kids in front of Ni Hao Kia Lan, call domino's, order a vegetarian pizza, and grab your kindle and disappear in a movie or book while they learn Chinese.
Thats only one example of solutions. We are strong and smart and we MUST FIND TIME TO FILL OUR PITCHERS! If not, we will give from a place of lack. We will become bitter. We will lose faith and faith is the most important key in deliberate creation of your life. It was a hard lesson to learn to receive love for my pitcher and to find ways to fill my own pitcher. Sometimes I relapse but I put my ass in a nice rehab called an Epsom Salt bath and sing Jill Scott and The Script to the top of my lungs (off key cuz flat notes just makes my heart flutter) and then I'm back. Go find yourself! Love and Freedom.
THERE IS NO SPOON
Seven
So many people are doing it so Imma just....ummm.....come right out and say this spiritual piece of wisdom with no lube or sugar.
STOP DOING SHIT FOR OTHER PEOPLE THAT YOU DON'T WANNA DO!
Listen I get it! I was and still am that chick who thinks I should give everything, ask for little and don't accept anything. The mentality is dated and STUPID and stops you from getting your desires spiritually!
Receiving is a feminine energy. (Just in case you don't know men also need feminine energy to balanced) And if you aren't receiving properly you are burned out, bitter, angry and depressed....OH......and you are having bad sex especially if you are a woman. (Spiritual imbalances manifest physically so NO not all men suck in bed...you have a spiritual disorder that wont ALLOW you to enjoy yourself) Lady parts (though some of us have huge balls) are made to receive for a reason.
Before I got the concept that I (And I mean I only.....like masturbation ONLY) am responsible for keeping my love pitcher full....I would give with the hopes someone would give back what I lost. I would give always in the spirit of sacrifice. In my path, Ive realize that quickly leads to resentment and disappointment. (And REALLY BAD SEX....i mean who leaves bite marks on a clit? Its happened to me) Having the constant expectation that people were my personal Genie (The Robin Williams one not "I dream of Genie") is not the life that leads to amazing!
Now, I give from my abundance.....my overflow
How did I get overflow......I love my neighbor AS I LOVE MYSELF. I come first. (In life and in sex now a days) Its not selfish, its me filling up my pitcher so I may love people properly! If your pitcher is dry, then kids get Cabernet drunk parents and spouses get cocaine habit partners and bosses get marijuana high workers and charities....get no one! The amount of fluid in my love pitcher is MY RESPONSIBILITY! And if someone decides to give me some love for my pitcher.....I add it to whats already there, not, have it be my only source from which my self-love flows. The toughest part of this lesson was recognizing when my pitcher was low and saying NO when it was.
NO.....such a powerful word.
No, I cant come over and watch your kids. No, you cant come over because you realize I cooked. No, I cant come to the meeting. No, I cant volunteer for that charity. No, I cant talk right now. No! NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!
If your pitcher is low....say NO and fill up your pitcher. STOP saying yes and thinking that its honorable that you are hating every moment of the favor. You don't look honorable...you look foolish.
How do you fill up your pitcher? Do the things you love. Take a looooong bath! Drink your coffee in peace on the porch! Read your favorite book under a tree! Plant something! Take a dance class! Eat new things! Make your own jewelry! Cook something new! This is how I began to love myself. I canceled alot of my involvement in other peoples lives and got involved in my own life.
I'm just saying.... WHAT RELAXES YOU???? If you don't know, you're not alone but go find out. And I hear you...."I don't have TIME. I have kids. I have a husband/wife/doing this by myself. I have a career" BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! Oh and a lot of
BULLSHIT!
Theres this thing call TV with lots of educational programs...put those kids in front of Ni Hao Kia Lan, call domino's, order a vegetarian pizza, and grab your kindle and disappear in a movie or book while they learn Chinese.
Thats only one example of solutions. We are strong and smart and we MUST FIND TIME TO FILL OUR PITCHERS! If not, we will give from a place of lack. We will become bitter. We will lose faith and faith is the most important key in deliberate creation of your life. It was a hard lesson to learn to receive love for my pitcher and to find ways to fill my own pitcher. Sometimes I relapse but I put my ass in a nice rehab called an Epsom Salt bath and sing Jill Scott and The Script to the top of my lungs (off key cuz flat notes just makes my heart flutter) and then I'm back. Go find yourself! Love and Freedom.
THERE IS NO SPOON
Seven
Monday, May 14, 2012
Cant Be a Bitch..... Scared of Everything
Hey & Namaste!
I was driving on my way to work this morning singing made up words to radio songs and thinking of things to put on my gratitude/intention list when I realized, alot of things on my list of intention had come true. Everything on my grateful list I got MORE of. I was floored. (Like a lady at an ultra sound listening to 3 heart beats).
Grateful list is something that has changed my life forever. There is no coincidence that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. (Its not ALL the government's fault) I know I'm not the only one who thinks, "WHAT must I do to go to the Oscars to get their 20,000 dollar gift bags to sell on eBay?" The more you realize what you have the less you focus on what you dont.
No thought is neutral....every thought creates
When that was told to me I understood that if I am thinking about how there are no more good men left in the world, how I could be more confident and have higher self-esteem if I could afford a trainer but I'm broke and fat. If I believed my car looks like the first luxury car made by Ford then I am a big ass Scare-dy Cat!
I was operating in fear...and had no clue....
I had to face some facts. I wasn't the bad ass Bitch that I thought I was. I was afraid of receiving thinking there was some small print I missed. I was afraid to enjoy my privileges because I might become snobby and no longer down to earth. I was afraid to enjoy life because if I laughed too much God would make me the next JOB and take it all away. I was afraid to love because I didn't want the voice in my head to be true....the one telling me I'm unlovable. (It waaaaaay more fun to just blame men for being assholes especially since they like to poke at them so much. lol)
When you are searching for someone to blame....you arent looking for truth.
Then I was told that gratitude was the key to receiving the life I wanted. I had to take responsibility for what my actions, thoughts and words had created in my life. The more I became grateful for having cuz at one time I didn't and appreciate things just as they were things begin to change. I would walk into work and everything that was awesome about my job was blaring as if I highlighted with some funky 80's neon color. I couldn't see the bad.
You bend spoons by realizing there isn't one. You smile at your obstacles when you realize there are none. Nothing exists...nothing is real but LOVE for that is what God is and God made everything. I made a gratitude list because I realize that I wanted more of the good in my life. It opened my heart to receive and gave me courage to have faith in everything again.
I just moved into one of the best places Ive ever lived in, I have a significant other who is seriously more my best friend than anything and I have more income even though I didn't change jobs or gain more responsibility. All from just being grateful. Its a good life.
There's more to this lovely thing of gratitude but I gotta go. Not trying to burn dinner and I gotta get to cardio kickboxing. SWIMSUIT SEASON! But please leave comments! Love and Freedom
THERE IS NO SPOON
Seven
I was driving on my way to work this morning singing made up words to radio songs and thinking of things to put on my gratitude/intention list when I realized, alot of things on my list of intention had come true. Everything on my grateful list I got MORE of. I was floored. (Like a lady at an ultra sound listening to 3 heart beats).
Grateful list is something that has changed my life forever. There is no coincidence that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. (Its not ALL the government's fault) I know I'm not the only one who thinks, "WHAT must I do to go to the Oscars to get their 20,000 dollar gift bags to sell on eBay?" The more you realize what you have the less you focus on what you dont.
No thought is neutral....every thought creates
When that was told to me I understood that if I am thinking about how there are no more good men left in the world, how I could be more confident and have higher self-esteem if I could afford a trainer but I'm broke and fat. If I believed my car looks like the first luxury car made by Ford then I am a big ass Scare-dy Cat!
I was operating in fear...and had no clue....
I had to face some facts. I wasn't the bad ass Bitch that I thought I was. I was afraid of receiving thinking there was some small print I missed. I was afraid to enjoy my privileges because I might become snobby and no longer down to earth. I was afraid to enjoy life because if I laughed too much God would make me the next JOB and take it all away. I was afraid to love because I didn't want the voice in my head to be true....the one telling me I'm unlovable. (It waaaaaay more fun to just blame men for being assholes especially since they like to poke at them so much. lol)
When you are searching for someone to blame....you arent looking for truth.
Then I was told that gratitude was the key to receiving the life I wanted. I had to take responsibility for what my actions, thoughts and words had created in my life. The more I became grateful for having cuz at one time I didn't and appreciate things just as they were things begin to change. I would walk into work and everything that was awesome about my job was blaring as if I highlighted with some funky 80's neon color. I couldn't see the bad.
You bend spoons by realizing there isn't one. You smile at your obstacles when you realize there are none. Nothing exists...nothing is real but LOVE for that is what God is and God made everything. I made a gratitude list because I realize that I wanted more of the good in my life. It opened my heart to receive and gave me courage to have faith in everything again.
I just moved into one of the best places Ive ever lived in, I have a significant other who is seriously more my best friend than anything and I have more income even though I didn't change jobs or gain more responsibility. All from just being grateful. Its a good life.
There's more to this lovely thing of gratitude but I gotta go. Not trying to burn dinner and I gotta get to cardio kickboxing. SWIMSUIT SEASON! But please leave comments! Love and Freedom
THERE IS NO SPOON
Seven
Sunday, May 13, 2012
My significant other use to be a a white girl!
Sooooooo, I'm black. If you haven't seen my picture, you dont know but now.....you can't be ignorant to the truth ANYMORE. I just can't let it happen any further. I AM BLACK. And contrary to popular belief, I loooooove it. Sometimes I talk loud in the movie theater (please check my purse for little fun bottles of liquor or the theater becomes my own comedian stage...I keep them Rollin! Seriously) just because. I wear weave alllllllll the time because Im way to lazy to actually do my hair. I love music and I would break up with my significant other if I ever lost my ass because he would miss it too much.
What the hell does this have to do with anything you might be asking yourself right now. You are totally valid in asking that question. Let me explain. It starts with three words....past life regression.
Before we got here we chose who wanted to be, where we wanted to be and (more importantly) what we wanted to learn. We are trying to expand our true selves which is pure love. Imagine yourself with God (or whomever you may call the source of all life) chillin enjoying a big glass of LOVE on the rocks (salt rim and cherry or if your a man....in a beer bottle what the Saints playing )and you see that you want to expand. Go back and get ur karma right. So you turn to the same spirits that went with you last time to earth and ask them to help you learn something.
This translates into this
The person you hate the most on this earth.......is probably your best friend in the spirit world here to help you learn forgiveness or compassion or jungle fever.....I mean the list can go on! For me this makes sense since ( you saw how I did that there...I'm a poet by the way and poets are MAJOR forms of awesomeness) my young brother and I have a relationship like mother and son. My mom and I act like twins more than mother and daughter. So what does this have to do with me being black?
In all of my past life regressions, not one of them have I come across me being of African descent. I've been a Greek woman. A Latina girl. An Indian man. But my wonderful friend Mrs Dawn ( coolest and funniest lady ever) who is white in this life....use to be a slave in her former life. Now imagine me....never had been a slave.....walking up to Mrs Dawn saying YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE BLACK! With me yelling that she knows in her gut I'm wrong but because of the extreme racial tension of today....she has to stay quiet
It's all bullshit!
I'm bringing up this topic today because I won't only celebrate my mom for transporting me from the spirit realm into the earthly one but I will celebrate her for agreeing to come to earth with me and teach me lessons that she didn't have to. She could still be in heaven right now drinking her glass of Love. This may have been her vacation time from earth and i just took up her days off! And also, I don't care what my skin looks like or what your skin looks like. Neither should you. You might have been in my skin two lifetimes ago and I in yours. Let's find 20/20 vision for the spirit and let the color of skin become ONLY that....the color of our skin. Love and freedom.
There is no spoon
seven
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Come Hell or High Water Part 2
.......I was outside looking at the sunset, talking to God.(Looking like a psycho to my neighbors) The curiosity of "what I didn't know" was getting to me. I asked God, "Am I wrong that I no longer want to go to church? Am I wrong that the feeling of trying to please you has become overwhelming? Am I wrong for just wanting all the expectations of perfection to stop?"
I heard the calmest, most Morgan Freeman-ish voice that said, "No, your moral code is off and based on the wrong things." I realized God was right. My moral code was based on the Bible which was already shown to me was EDITED by men who did not have the right intentions in their hearts.
That day I heard God and knew it was God because I felt the surge of unconditional love through me.
Sooooooo......I began to research. I saw that the Trinity was placed into Christianity not originally a part of it. I saw that Christmas traditions had NOTHING to do with Jesus. I saw that Christianity was created almost 500 years after Jesus had left Earth. I saw that SUPERMAN was real but the stories about him were not. That's when I realize this simple thing......Jesus did not come to earth to establish a religion. Jesus came here as a Master Teacher to inject UNCONDITIONAL LOVE in this earth. Love. With the rug being swept from beneath me I realize one thing I knew and that was to love! That was to include myself. How did I begin to love myself? By beginning with the word....NO! (That word gets a worst rep than Lindsay Lohan does with directors AND judges!)
A true discipline of Jesus is not about keeping people out of hell. (A place that I no longer think exists...we shall get to that later) A true follower of Jesus is about loving the God within yourself and other people....unconditionally! If this was told to me 5 years ago I would have labeled that person a Cardinal Christian or selfish. Not now. Not after knowing the truth and this simple truth.....
Who we truly are, isn't limited by the body.
We are Spirit. Our bodies are JUST temples. Have you ever seen a temple? The temple is beautiful but the temple wasn't built just for beauty (though being human is beautiful) people build temples to house something SUPER-NATURAL! (I broke the word up so you can see what the word truly means) I am supernatural. I am limitless. There is no spoon.
So I lost faith in my religion. Not that religion is bad. It is an amazing tool to show you to the path of your Spirit. And when I found my Spirit, I named it. When I found my Spirit, I searched for the absolute truth about it. When I found my Spirit, I found who I truly was and my purpose. And I cant and wont go back!
I heard the calmest, most Morgan Freeman-ish voice that said, "No, your moral code is off and based on the wrong things." I realized God was right. My moral code was based on the Bible which was already shown to me was EDITED by men who did not have the right intentions in their hearts.
That day I heard God and knew it was God because I felt the surge of unconditional love through me.
Sooooooo......I began to research. I saw that the Trinity was placed into Christianity not originally a part of it. I saw that Christmas traditions had NOTHING to do with Jesus. I saw that Christianity was created almost 500 years after Jesus had left Earth. I saw that SUPERMAN was real but the stories about him were not. That's when I realize this simple thing......Jesus did not come to earth to establish a religion. Jesus came here as a Master Teacher to inject UNCONDITIONAL LOVE in this earth. Love. With the rug being swept from beneath me I realize one thing I knew and that was to love! That was to include myself. How did I begin to love myself? By beginning with the word....NO! (That word gets a worst rep than Lindsay Lohan does with directors AND judges!)
A true discipline of Jesus is not about keeping people out of hell. (A place that I no longer think exists...we shall get to that later) A true follower of Jesus is about loving the God within yourself and other people....unconditionally! If this was told to me 5 years ago I would have labeled that person a Cardinal Christian or selfish. Not now. Not after knowing the truth and this simple truth.....
Who we truly are, isn't limited by the body.
We are Spirit. Our bodies are JUST temples. Have you ever seen a temple? The temple is beautiful but the temple wasn't built just for beauty (though being human is beautiful) people build temples to house something SUPER-NATURAL! (I broke the word up so you can see what the word truly means) I am supernatural. I am limitless. There is no spoon.
So I lost faith in my religion. Not that religion is bad. It is an amazing tool to show you to the path of your Spirit. And when I found my Spirit, I named it. When I found my Spirit, I searched for the absolute truth about it. When I found my Spirit, I found who I truly was and my purpose. And I cant and wont go back!
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Come Hell or High Water....Part 1
Hey and Namaste! I think its about time for me to tell you how I got here. Yes, here. Here, is where now I have prayer meetings dedicated to bringing me back to the LAWD! Here....... where former church members will say hi from a distance but become extremely uncomfortable when I go in for a hug. (Which by the way is one of my favorite past times) Here, where I have come to understand Christian interpretation of marriage similar to The Matrix. (*Morpheus voice* A Prison you cannot see, touch, smell or taste) Here.......... where I stopped believing in Christianity.
My father became an elder when I was 3 years old. My mom a minister when I was 13. Both became Pastors (Reverends for those who aren't familiar with the term) and started their own church when I was 21. Needless to say, church was a huge part of my life and I loved it! I was involved in EVERYTHING. Seriously, all the things you can name and some you have never heard of. (Vice President of the Teen Council...ha!...told ya) I was prophesied to that Id be a great apostle and prophet. I knew my bible and loved church conferences yet still there was something missing.
That something missing seemed to be found in the souls of people like Erykah Badu and India.Arie. Both lived their lives from this....type of..... knowing. Their music seemed to speak another language that only my spirit understood. I was always overwhelmed because of the knowledge in their songs and also with non-Christians who I would debate with. They always knew more than I did though Id never admit that back then because agreeing with them would be a Judas type move to my Lord and Savior. It didn't help that at 24 I read "The Secret" and it changed my life more than the Bible had in a very long time. At 26, I was going to a wonderful church full of love, joy and JESUS.......oh......and was totally bored out of my mind.
Until the dark ages came (I like to name sections of my life as if it was a HUGE part of Earth's history which it is) and I lost everything I once thought was CERTAIN. Church was no longer up lifting me so I knew I needed something quick before I ended up harming myself. I went on the Internet and researched "The Secret" and came upon information about the church that was just astonishing.
I didn't want to believe it because I didn't want God mad at me. I didn't want to go to hell. I didn't want to place the kiss of betrayal upon God's cheek. For He (<---- why do we use this AWFUL pronoun for God) had been my everything and I had been a faithful servant. If I believed these things....if I believed that EVERYTHING that made up my moral fiber was based on greedy men with a need for power then I would go to hell. Everything I worked for....would burn off on my way there. (No really, I seriously believed this guys)
There was more information out there. The suggested videos on the right side of those YouTube pages had the most seductive titles it was like Chris Hemsworth (Thor in Avengers) and Micheal Ealy (A black man with blue eyes...I mean COME ON!) was shirtless with a key to a door to a paradise of flat tummies and endless chocolate......but I couldn't bring my mouse to click....I couldn't exchange my ticket to heaven for information that could possibly reveal my superman and Santa Claus weren't real. Until...........
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Im emotional...SO!
Hey and Namaste! So there are so many things to talk about that I honestly do not know where to start. With that being said, I chose to sit at my computer and let the fingers do the rest. This is coming from the heart and its uncensored so beware.
What in the heezy for sheezy (translation what in the @*^$&^) is going on in the universe and cosmos? Every one of my spiritual friends are having the hardest times this week. Hard like, Bush winning another election in the history of Earth HARD TIME! None of us could figure it out until we realize there was a funky ass moon this Saturday that us here in VA didn't get the privilege to see because of the clouds. The moon is very powerful. (Lunar....lunatic....no coincidence)
Which brings me to something called ENERGY NEVER DIES. No, I am not referring to the Black Eye Peas CD you rock out on during your workouts (which you should do for all reasons EXCEPT to lose weight or you'll just gain it...trust me I KNOW) but I'm referring to this lovely entity that surrounds us everyday that could be used for our benefit. (Somewhat like the force in Star Wars) Instead of confusing you with stuff that sounds weird (especially if you just put your tithe in the collection plate on Sunday....this stuff will sound RIDICULOUS to you especially) Ill start with something basic...your emotions.
Your emotions can be your very best friend. As a woman, I have been often told that "we" as a species are just too emotional......as if it were a bad thing. It is not. Emotions are just Energy in Motion. They are letting you know what your predominate thought is. They also letting you know how far you are from being connected to who you really are. We will speak on this further. I promise but I gotta go.
This morning I woke up an hour later than I was suppose to. Knowing how important energy is, I made a conscious effort NOT to let that ruin my day. Sang at the top of my lungs ADELE and TAYLOR SWIFT. Then rapped a few verses by DRAKE and WAYNE. I act like I was on stage and I had groupies with my tight skinny jeans sagging. I mean anything silly to stop me from feeling pity, anger and bitchiness! Because no thought is neutral. All thoughts create. So let your emotions be your meter on what you are thinking and that will help you control what you are also creating. Love and Peace!
THERE IS NO SPOON
Seven
What in the heezy for sheezy (translation what in the @*^$&^) is going on in the universe and cosmos? Every one of my spiritual friends are having the hardest times this week. Hard like, Bush winning another election in the history of Earth HARD TIME! None of us could figure it out until we realize there was a funky ass moon this Saturday that us here in VA didn't get the privilege to see because of the clouds. The moon is very powerful. (Lunar....lunatic....no coincidence)
Which brings me to something called ENERGY NEVER DIES. No, I am not referring to the Black Eye Peas CD you rock out on during your workouts (which you should do for all reasons EXCEPT to lose weight or you'll just gain it...trust me I KNOW) but I'm referring to this lovely entity that surrounds us everyday that could be used for our benefit. (Somewhat like the force in Star Wars) Instead of confusing you with stuff that sounds weird (especially if you just put your tithe in the collection plate on Sunday....this stuff will sound RIDICULOUS to you especially) Ill start with something basic...your emotions.
Your emotions can be your very best friend. As a woman, I have been often told that "we" as a species are just too emotional......as if it were a bad thing. It is not. Emotions are just Energy in Motion. They are letting you know what your predominate thought is. They also letting you know how far you are from being connected to who you really are. We will speak on this further. I promise but I gotta go.
This morning I woke up an hour later than I was suppose to. Knowing how important energy is, I made a conscious effort NOT to let that ruin my day. Sang at the top of my lungs ADELE and TAYLOR SWIFT. Then rapped a few verses by DRAKE and WAYNE. I act like I was on stage and I had groupies with my tight skinny jeans sagging. I mean anything silly to stop me from feeling pity, anger and bitchiness! Because no thought is neutral. All thoughts create. So let your emotions be your meter on what you are thinking and that will help you control what you are also creating. Love and Peace!
THERE IS NO SPOON
Seven
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Hi....My Name is....ummmmmmm....
Hey and Namaste! My name is Seven and I am a 5 foot 2 inch American woman whose thighs rub together, who sticks crystals down her bra, couldn't function without meditation and could drink a grown man under the table especially if the liquor of choice was rum!
Oh.......
And I just figured out.....I'm no longer a Christian.
Not too much of a shocker to you, if you just met me.......but to others.....little chicken is outside screaming at them "THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!!!!!" And in the quiet abyss of their minds (I use sarcasm often you will soon see) a crack has happened as loud as the gasp of America when Kanye West stole that award moment from Taylor Swift. Why? They just don't understand how such a God fearing woman (<---- dumbest description of a person ever) could turn her back on JESUS!
I happen to love Jesus very much. Out of all the religious models and master teachers there are, Jesus is the BEST in my opinion. He was a forward thinker. He was loving and kind. Above all, (and this is my favorite part) He had huge balls! I mean, the things He would say to the leaders of the Church back then took guts! His ideas were radical and wild and accepting of everyone which was a huge deal in a culture where things were very black & white and FIRE AND BRIMSTOOOOOOONE! So do not mistake my leaving the Christan faith with my lack of love and respect for Jesus. I love Jesus. I am just not so sure of the religion that formed after He left this Earth. There is a huge difference!
That's what this blog is about.....
There are many people like me who were faithful members of their church. Did every car wash and bake sale. Was at every rehearsal. Went to Bible Study, Taught Sunday School and did the announcements while directing the choir on Sunday. All of that work, and they still felt that there was something more. Still felt far away from God. Still felt like....they were not enough.
The Matrix Trilogy is one of my favorite movies. I relate to Neo now more than ever. After losing everything I knew to be true, I was given a gift.....a blank piece of paper to start completely over. I mean, grandma butter biscuits from scratch OVER. I knew there was something else out there. I knew that God was bigger than the limits that religion was placing on Him/Her/Them/It. Above all, I knew God was way more accepting than the religion was allowing God to be.
I found myself LOVING Lady GaGa and mad she kept coming up in prayer circles. I found myself drinking a glass of wine with my sirloin and feeling guilty that I DIDN'T feel guilty about it. I found masturbation to be the KEY TO LIFE. I found myself acquiring more gay friends and realizing that nobody would CHOOSE to go through that type of hell. I found myself wanting to be SAVED from the requirement of judgement. And so God saved me, by giving me help to do it myself. (Names like Doreen Virtue, Sonia Choquette and Louis Hay house will mean a lot to you later for they are huge experts in this sort of thing)
I started this blog because I know I am not the only one who has found themselves on this path. I want to let you know that I understand how rough it can be. I want to let you know that you are sooooooooooo not alone.
Most of all, I want to let you know its okay.
I am not an expert, nor do I have any certain answers but I do have my experience and I sure do hope my journey helps yours. I will share what I know and you allow your spirit to sift through and tell you which parts of this blog is for you. Lets grow...together. Love and Freedom to you all!
THERE IS NO SPOON
Seven
Oh.......
And I just figured out.....I'm no longer a Christian.
Not too much of a shocker to you, if you just met me.......but to others.....little chicken is outside screaming at them "THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!!!!!" And in the quiet abyss of their minds (I use sarcasm often you will soon see) a crack has happened as loud as the gasp of America when Kanye West stole that award moment from Taylor Swift. Why? They just don't understand how such a God fearing woman (<---- dumbest description of a person ever) could turn her back on JESUS!
I happen to love Jesus very much. Out of all the religious models and master teachers there are, Jesus is the BEST in my opinion. He was a forward thinker. He was loving and kind. Above all, (and this is my favorite part) He had huge balls! I mean, the things He would say to the leaders of the Church back then took guts! His ideas were radical and wild and accepting of everyone which was a huge deal in a culture where things were very black & white and FIRE AND BRIMSTOOOOOOONE! So do not mistake my leaving the Christan faith with my lack of love and respect for Jesus. I love Jesus. I am just not so sure of the religion that formed after He left this Earth. There is a huge difference!
That's what this blog is about.....
There are many people like me who were faithful members of their church. Did every car wash and bake sale. Was at every rehearsal. Went to Bible Study, Taught Sunday School and did the announcements while directing the choir on Sunday. All of that work, and they still felt that there was something more. Still felt far away from God. Still felt like....they were not enough.
The Matrix Trilogy is one of my favorite movies. I relate to Neo now more than ever. After losing everything I knew to be true, I was given a gift.....a blank piece of paper to start completely over. I mean, grandma butter biscuits from scratch OVER. I knew there was something else out there. I knew that God was bigger than the limits that religion was placing on Him/Her/Them/It. Above all, I knew God was way more accepting than the religion was allowing God to be.
I found myself LOVING Lady GaGa and mad she kept coming up in prayer circles. I found myself drinking a glass of wine with my sirloin and feeling guilty that I DIDN'T feel guilty about it. I found masturbation to be the KEY TO LIFE. I found myself acquiring more gay friends and realizing that nobody would CHOOSE to go through that type of hell. I found myself wanting to be SAVED from the requirement of judgement. And so God saved me, by giving me help to do it myself. (Names like Doreen Virtue, Sonia Choquette and Louis Hay house will mean a lot to you later for they are huge experts in this sort of thing)
I started this blog because I know I am not the only one who has found themselves on this path. I want to let you know that I understand how rough it can be. I want to let you know that you are sooooooooooo not alone.
Most of all, I want to let you know its okay.
I am not an expert, nor do I have any certain answers but I do have my experience and I sure do hope my journey helps yours. I will share what I know and you allow your spirit to sift through and tell you which parts of this blog is for you. Lets grow...together. Love and Freedom to you all!
THERE IS NO SPOON
Seven
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