Sooooo hot yoga kicked my ass. I mean its been a long time where a workout has made me wanna throw up, pass out ANNNNND beg for my life not to end. And Im no stranger to the gym. One of the very few people who actually like the gym but that workout beat me like a slave that had been captured by not Russia but U.S.S.R. But let me tell you, I loved it. Why? Come closer, pour yourself a shot and let me fill you in.
The first thing I felt when I walked into the room was a great peace. Like lavender was personified. I sat in the room like an exhibitionist and watched the people and absorbed them. I was in ahhhh of these folks. It was evident their body and spirit were one.
It reminded me of what a beautiful soul named Egami Reh told me and I never forgot it. She said, you are the God of your own body. She told me that your body is so loyal to you that if you asked it to drink a gallon of bleach...it would. You are God, Ruler, Boss and Emperor. Your cells, organs, bones, ect worship and praise you. They exists to serve you so I ask what kind of God are you? What kind of boss are you? Would you prefer your boss to be yelling at you everyday to get your work done or help you and praise you to get your work done? Your cells feel stress. 80 percent of diseases are related to stress. SO trust me, your cells feel negativity like you do when your boss walks in on Monday with evidence of "FUCK EVERYONE" all over them. Its hard to work in that atmosphere. So here I am in this room as the odd man out. Not just cuz I was the only black, overweight person in the room but because my aura was a snitch and it was screaming to everyone I hadnt been kind to my body.
Now we are well into the workout and I am looking like an idiot. I didnt know what the hell I was doing. I remember looking in the mirror and cursing myself out. Why you ask? There was a beginners class but I chose this class because I wanted more for my money and since the beginners class was only an hour and the advanced was 90 mins...I chose this class. Greed sucks ass. Well at this moment, kicks ass....not in the awesome white boy way either.
At this time Im beginning to notice some things. I cant align my body, I cant balance and I am not flexible AT ALL. On top of the fact that it feels like there is a bunch of meat from the night before stuck in my throat planning an escape from my body like its in a poorly secured prison.....I am hurting. My body is hurting and shaking and I cant breathe. So I lay in childs pose after an hour of all this and reflect.
Physical cant come to be without it being in the spiritual first. Am I not balanced? Am I not align? Am I not flexible? Yes. Yes. And damnit More YES!
The next day I go and hang out with some friends to exchange ideas about spirituality. I believe there is no one religion that has it all right soooooooo its important, no matter what religion you affiliate with, to speak with people from other religions to help round out your spirit. Your spirit isnt Christian or Jewish....it is spirit which includes all.
In the midst of our chatting I asked one of my friends who is a Lesbian how she deals with people feeling like her lifestyle is wrong because Christians I use to know feel the same way about my lifestyle now. (a lifestyle that excludes Pastors, Church, a definition of "sin" and ect...) I told her I havent figured how to deal with people still trying to "save me". (Which is about as annoying as someone telling you the ending to a movie you've waited 5 months to see....yes THAT annoying) She told me she accepts those who dont accept her lifestyle for where they are and that I was judgemental for standing against their beliefs. OH NO SHE DIDNT SAY I WAS JUDGEMENTAL! But it made sense. I didnt realize I wasnt being flexible. How can I expect a person to accept everyone and I only accept people who are open minded in the way I think they should be? I cant. The epiphany was sooooo beautiful and I am working on it becoming habitually subconscious. Bottom line, yoga showed me myself and the universe was already working on showing me how to fix the darkness that was hiding in me.
I am working on my balance and alignment now but Im still not certain the areas I need to reevaluate but I am waiting on the spirit world to reveal them to me. I Love this life I live. I love loving this life. I hope you are doing the same with yours. Thank you for reading. Love and Freedom.
Seven
Monday, August 27, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Freaky like the Daughter of a Pastor.....
.....Well BOTH of my parents were Pastors. Yeah so you can only imagine how freaky I am. I wasn't a "bad" child. Loved church if anything. I was heavily involved in it. Lost my virginity after high school to the man I had plan to marry. I mean, my shoes weren't just good...they were goody. (I hope you caught that) I enjoyed the attention I got from being so righteous but.....
I LOVED PORN!!!!
Still do. Learned how to give a proper B & Js through porn. Love giving head. Love having sex. My favorite is when people are around but cant see you like in the bathroom at a party. Im just saying, I had a freaky side that I had to constantly keep in check. Being in the church, lust and passion (except toward King Jesus and God of Abraham) were frowned upon. I constantly told myself how awful I was for wanting sex. I made the guilt after a masturbation session unbearable so I would stop. I would celebrate each week that would go by that I didnt "click on the clit" or "love my neighbor as myself" or "know thyself"! I was proud that I was a woman beater and would share tactics with other women.
Now I know most of you all are from some type of organized religion. And the previous paragraphs of this blog are familiar to you but you don't understand whats so wrong with doing what Ive mentioned. Well, I am about to give you MY OPINION and MY revelation on this. I know you may disagree but I encourage you to continue reading so you know whats in the brain of a different mind than yours.
Organized religion is an amazing tool to point you toward your spirit. I wouldn't be who I am today without being a Christian for 25 years of my life. I look into Islam and love the discipline they teach. I look into the Jewish faith and I love the sound history it has plus their traditions seems to connect them to the spiritual realm more than any other religion. But the one thing I have seen, is this under currant of suppression of feminine power that has become so normal that women no longer see it as a problem.
One major proof is that we all know God isnt human....God is spirit yet we refer to God has "father" or "Him"! And if you got up and said "ALL PRAISE BE TO GOD BLESS HER HOLY NAME!" they would look at you as if satan just proposed to you on the alter and you said yes. Why are we so comfortable with God being man but uncomfortable with God being female even though both would be wrong? So what does this have to do with sex? A lot....
One little secret that I learned that men would hate for women to know is that they feel that women have a power over them that they have to learn to control. That we hold the keys of power walking into any situation that consist of a woman and a man. Without any discipline and focus on their part, we have a STRONG power over them. Their sex drive is crazy high to keep the earth's population going. Very few women want to have kids after a night of cramps or even worst labor pains. Not fun. We are beautiful, nurturing, soft creatures with vaginas that make them feel like gods. To control that urge for us takes much effort so for some instead of doing all that.....they try and control the women.
Have you ever wondered why do women have to cover up in church? Why is it my responsibility to keep you from having visions of us having sex during worship? Why is it that Nicki Minaj is considered a hoe when we have never heard of her being with anyone other than Lil Wayne? Ashton Kutcher has been with just as many women as Kim Kardashian has been with men but she's a SLORE (thats slut and whore together just to clear that up) and he is just a man being a man.
It is an effort to take away feminine power. Im not saying lets all blare out Who Runs the World by Beyonce and take over. I simply saying that Masculine and Feminine power need to be equal for a balanced society.
A woman who owns her sexuality is a dangerous woman. Which is why it is frowned upon so much. A woman flaunting her curves and proud to be connected with her body is considered a hoebag. A woman who has sex on the first date and doesnt want anything to do with that man except sex is considered loose to the church. All these negative concepts that we have learned about our body or being sexual have kept us from great sex and a word we rarely say...ORGASMS (with a s).
The guilt that is playing through our head in the form of questions is blocking out enjoying a very NATURAL part of life. I know its natural because most of the women who are in the church and arent married ARE STILL HAVING SEX!!!!
Im not saying your Priest or Pastor has sat down with the Elders of the church or temple and devised a plan once a month to kill feminine power. Theres not a hate group meeting going on in the basement of the place you worship trying to cut the clits of women spiritually. Most men dont know they do it. Just like most women don't know why some women have great sex no matter the man they have sex with. (the penis however can fuck up some good sex regardless but women who own their bodies would politely tell the man no or just have anal sex) Its because of the negative concepts we have been fed. Most men don't know that they are fucking up their sex life with their future wives by perpetuating these misogynous views of "keep your legs closed" because you cant just click over from being a nun to porn star just because a ring was placed next to the middle finger. It takes women YEARS to become sexually open and comfortable because they have to unlearn these concepts.
I'm not saying go out Friday night and sleep with the first dude who looks to be packing length and girth. I'm saying reevaluate how you view sex. Unlearn the unhealthy parts of it. In my religion it took me researching the original text of scriptures realizing God didn't have a problem with an unmarried woman having sex with an unmarried man..though the culture didn't support that...its just when one or both became married....was it a problem. When sex controls you....starts to get in the way of relationships or your job....then be worried but owning your body.....being present in your body......feeling at home in your body.....is not nasty or unholy. Its quite the opposite. its your temple.
If you are like myself, which a lot of us are, then you are not only dealing with unlearning these concepts but also dealing with the darkness that seemed to be left by someone in you when you were younger and was taken advantage of sexually. We are strong. We are beautiful. No it wasn't our faults no matter WHAT the situation. And WE DESERVE ORGASMS! LOL. Love thyself and today is the perfect time to start!
I write this cause I am going through it. I'm blessed with a man who understands my journey of unlearning but at times it is still difficult. Is anyone going through this same journey or has gone through this journey that has any tips? Love to hear your help. Till next time Love and Freedom!
Seven
I LOVED PORN!!!!
Still do. Learned how to give a proper B & Js through porn. Love giving head. Love having sex. My favorite is when people are around but cant see you like in the bathroom at a party. Im just saying, I had a freaky side that I had to constantly keep in check. Being in the church, lust and passion (except toward King Jesus and God of Abraham) were frowned upon. I constantly told myself how awful I was for wanting sex. I made the guilt after a masturbation session unbearable so I would stop. I would celebrate each week that would go by that I didnt "click on the clit" or "love my neighbor as myself" or "know thyself"! I was proud that I was a woman beater and would share tactics with other women.
Now I know most of you all are from some type of organized religion. And the previous paragraphs of this blog are familiar to you but you don't understand whats so wrong with doing what Ive mentioned. Well, I am about to give you MY OPINION and MY revelation on this. I know you may disagree but I encourage you to continue reading so you know whats in the brain of a different mind than yours.
Organized religion is an amazing tool to point you toward your spirit. I wouldn't be who I am today without being a Christian for 25 years of my life. I look into Islam and love the discipline they teach. I look into the Jewish faith and I love the sound history it has plus their traditions seems to connect them to the spiritual realm more than any other religion. But the one thing I have seen, is this under currant of suppression of feminine power that has become so normal that women no longer see it as a problem.
One major proof is that we all know God isnt human....God is spirit yet we refer to God has "father" or "Him"! And if you got up and said "ALL PRAISE BE TO GOD BLESS HER HOLY NAME!" they would look at you as if satan just proposed to you on the alter and you said yes. Why are we so comfortable with God being man but uncomfortable with God being female even though both would be wrong? So what does this have to do with sex? A lot....
One little secret that I learned that men would hate for women to know is that they feel that women have a power over them that they have to learn to control. That we hold the keys of power walking into any situation that consist of a woman and a man. Without any discipline and focus on their part, we have a STRONG power over them. Their sex drive is crazy high to keep the earth's population going. Very few women want to have kids after a night of cramps or even worst labor pains. Not fun. We are beautiful, nurturing, soft creatures with vaginas that make them feel like gods. To control that urge for us takes much effort so for some instead of doing all that.....they try and control the women.
Have you ever wondered why do women have to cover up in church? Why is it my responsibility to keep you from having visions of us having sex during worship? Why is it that Nicki Minaj is considered a hoe when we have never heard of her being with anyone other than Lil Wayne? Ashton Kutcher has been with just as many women as Kim Kardashian has been with men but she's a SLORE (thats slut and whore together just to clear that up) and he is just a man being a man.
It is an effort to take away feminine power. Im not saying lets all blare out Who Runs the World by Beyonce and take over. I simply saying that Masculine and Feminine power need to be equal for a balanced society.
A woman who owns her sexuality is a dangerous woman. Which is why it is frowned upon so much. A woman flaunting her curves and proud to be connected with her body is considered a hoebag. A woman who has sex on the first date and doesnt want anything to do with that man except sex is considered loose to the church. All these negative concepts that we have learned about our body or being sexual have kept us from great sex and a word we rarely say...ORGASMS (with a s).
The guilt that is playing through our head in the form of questions is blocking out enjoying a very NATURAL part of life. I know its natural because most of the women who are in the church and arent married ARE STILL HAVING SEX!!!!
Im not saying your Priest or Pastor has sat down with the Elders of the church or temple and devised a plan once a month to kill feminine power. Theres not a hate group meeting going on in the basement of the place you worship trying to cut the clits of women spiritually. Most men dont know they do it. Just like most women don't know why some women have great sex no matter the man they have sex with. (the penis however can fuck up some good sex regardless but women who own their bodies would politely tell the man no or just have anal sex) Its because of the negative concepts we have been fed. Most men don't know that they are fucking up their sex life with their future wives by perpetuating these misogynous views of "keep your legs closed" because you cant just click over from being a nun to porn star just because a ring was placed next to the middle finger. It takes women YEARS to become sexually open and comfortable because they have to unlearn these concepts.
I'm not saying go out Friday night and sleep with the first dude who looks to be packing length and girth. I'm saying reevaluate how you view sex. Unlearn the unhealthy parts of it. In my religion it took me researching the original text of scriptures realizing God didn't have a problem with an unmarried woman having sex with an unmarried man..though the culture didn't support that...its just when one or both became married....was it a problem. When sex controls you....starts to get in the way of relationships or your job....then be worried but owning your body.....being present in your body......feeling at home in your body.....is not nasty or unholy. Its quite the opposite. its your temple.
If you are like myself, which a lot of us are, then you are not only dealing with unlearning these concepts but also dealing with the darkness that seemed to be left by someone in you when you were younger and was taken advantage of sexually. We are strong. We are beautiful. No it wasn't our faults no matter WHAT the situation. And WE DESERVE ORGASMS! LOL. Love thyself and today is the perfect time to start!
I write this cause I am going through it. I'm blessed with a man who understands my journey of unlearning but at times it is still difficult. Is anyone going through this same journey or has gone through this journey that has any tips? Love to hear your help. Till next time Love and Freedom!
Seven
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Weight gain...I rather suck on a ball then balance on one.
I know I know....Ive been gone as long as your disc man has but I'm back. Lots of stuff has happened! I mean lots but I will slowly recap through out the blog instead of catching you guys up all at once.
Lets first talk about how Weight Watchers is awesome and how I am not.
Alright so, I understand now why Weight Watchers is the number one weight loss system in the nation cuz it has an excellent system to kick Fat's ass. It teaches you two major things.....How much is too much food for you and your body AND BALANCE! So it is no surprise that I have spent 60 dollars to gain weight on the program. Why? Guess what ONE of my major issue are in my life???? Yes BALANCE!
If you have ever met me in person....I am extremely passionate. I am bubbly, ballsy and have a high pitch voice that at first sounds pleasant but eventually gets on your GOD DAMN NERVES! Passion is what drives me but what it also does.....is..... put me in EXTREMES. Example, Lets say I watch a YouTube video of a baby cow being stabbed by a huge metal hook, drug across the floor while kicking in pain and murdered for the purpose of being on my bun. (Real shit like this happens everyday by the way) Not only do I stop eating beef....I tell all my friends on facebook I'm going to call in some kind of homicide team on your ass if I see you eating a cow. Then I'm talking to the manager of Food Lion to make sure he knows he support the Osama type murder of animals and should leave the earth in the same way if he doesnt get some organic in this bitch. I go hard for at the most 2-3 weeks then that faithful bar-b-cue happens where the only people that I know at the spot are the people who have been trying to sabotage my efforts to not eat meat so that they can eat guilt free! I end up having just ONE piece of a beef hot dog and BAM next week I'm turning my stove to 300 to slowly cook a roast.
Its baaaaad! Soooo bad. I know it has a lot to do with my up bringing where I felt I had to be perfect and make all the right choices all the time so now all I wanna do is REBEL! Which is why wrong shit feels so amazeballs RIGHT. But it also has a lot to do with my relationship with food.
Lets get real. If we are talking about caloric intake and outtake then exercising, on average, burns about 350 calories per hour. A debbie snack cake Nutty Buddy Bar is 330 calories which can be consumed by me in less than 5 mins. Conclusion: Its not about my relationship with a tredmill which is what I have been focusing on a lot. If I stopped eating so much damn food....I wouldn't be in this embarrassing predicament.
I have been blessed. I LOVE WEIRD HEALTHY FOOD!!! I can eat watermelon, bananas, oranges and apples EVERYDAY for breakfast. Some form of Raw Spinach, broccoli, mushrooms and celery everyday for lunch! Tofu, soup and a huge ass salad for dinner! I love healthy food cuz it taste GRRRRREAT to me! SO why in the fuck titty ville do I always go for the unhealthy shitty food? Why does my brain tell me, "Fuck that plum son and go for the Belgian Waffles, grits and milkshake that we will call a smoothie."
It is a mind thing. I have no control over the one thing I CAN control.
I recently spoke with this beautiful spirit, Neleh (waving frantically at her), who told me about this transformation shes been on for two years looking for herself. She tells me about yoga and it detoxing benefits which Ive done...hot yoga specifically.... with my other homie GLO! I had a ball and felt amazing and I stopped because Im a dumb ass. So I was interested in what Neleh had to say because not only do I love yoga but I loved her. Her spirit glowed and her body was AWESOME! I noticed her physical change but didnt connect that it came from the inside.
So here I am again trying to figure out what wack ass concept did I adopt that made me almost 30 pounds overweight and I realized this.....I dont want to be healthy....I just wanna look good!
That one statement explains alot. Yo yo dieting comes from this fuckball of a statement. You and I are spirits. Just like astronauts are given a space suit in order to survive in outer space....we were given a body in order to grow our spirits from what we learn here on earth. Its crazy for the astronaut to be more concerned about getting a ruby red suit and Jordans laced into his/her suit than he/she is about the maintenance of the suit! Same with me....its a stupid concept to be more concerned about being fat than me being unhealthy. So thats my next step. Changing my relationship with food. Becoming healthy from the inside out. Intention is everything.
I have begin to research many authors that talk about this topic and yoga. The China Study already has peaked my interest highly. While I research food scientifically, Ill add in some hot yoga and books on guilt which we will talk about later on because guilt is one of the worst emotions we have adopted into our daily lives! (It is seriously a fuckcluster of shitty shit!)
Alright lets do a small preview......guilt is like swallowing shattered glass on purpose. It causes so much stress on you physically and spiritually for no reason! Most people use it to punish themselves so they wont do what they did again. I had to ask myself, "Do you punch yourself in the face every time you don't spell a word right?" (The answer was no by the way. I cant spell or speak half the time! That's why I MC events and blog. Perfect requirements for such jobs) So if I did something to someone or even myself (like gain all this weight and carry my embarrassment, called my body, everywhere I go) that I need to realize I'm wrong, do my best to fix it and then let it be. Move on like a douche bag does after a one-night stand he had with a girl for a bet. I am sure guilt has a lot to do with my weight gain and I am excited to let go of the concepts that connect the two.
I miss you all dearly. I am so sorry Ive been MIA but I'm back for however long I have something to say. PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS! I wanna know if you can understand my pain or if you don't get it at all!!! Ill shall post my next blog before the week is out! Love and freedom!
Seven
Lets first talk about how Weight Watchers is awesome and how I am not.
Alright so, I understand now why Weight Watchers is the number one weight loss system in the nation cuz it has an excellent system to kick Fat's ass. It teaches you two major things.....How much is too much food for you and your body AND BALANCE! So it is no surprise that I have spent 60 dollars to gain weight on the program. Why? Guess what ONE of my major issue are in my life???? Yes BALANCE!
If you have ever met me in person....I am extremely passionate. I am bubbly, ballsy and have a high pitch voice that at first sounds pleasant but eventually gets on your GOD DAMN NERVES! Passion is what drives me but what it also does.....is..... put me in EXTREMES. Example, Lets say I watch a YouTube video of a baby cow being stabbed by a huge metal hook, drug across the floor while kicking in pain and murdered for the purpose of being on my bun. (Real shit like this happens everyday by the way) Not only do I stop eating beef....I tell all my friends on facebook I'm going to call in some kind of homicide team on your ass if I see you eating a cow. Then I'm talking to the manager of Food Lion to make sure he knows he support the Osama type murder of animals and should leave the earth in the same way if he doesnt get some organic in this bitch. I go hard for at the most 2-3 weeks then that faithful bar-b-cue happens where the only people that I know at the spot are the people who have been trying to sabotage my efforts to not eat meat so that they can eat guilt free! I end up having just ONE piece of a beef hot dog and BAM next week I'm turning my stove to 300 to slowly cook a roast.
Its baaaaad! Soooo bad. I know it has a lot to do with my up bringing where I felt I had to be perfect and make all the right choices all the time so now all I wanna do is REBEL! Which is why wrong shit feels so amazeballs RIGHT. But it also has a lot to do with my relationship with food.
Lets get real. If we are talking about caloric intake and outtake then exercising, on average, burns about 350 calories per hour. A debbie snack cake Nutty Buddy Bar is 330 calories which can be consumed by me in less than 5 mins. Conclusion: Its not about my relationship with a tredmill which is what I have been focusing on a lot. If I stopped eating so much damn food....I wouldn't be in this embarrassing predicament.
I have been blessed. I LOVE WEIRD HEALTHY FOOD!!! I can eat watermelon, bananas, oranges and apples EVERYDAY for breakfast. Some form of Raw Spinach, broccoli, mushrooms and celery everyday for lunch! Tofu, soup and a huge ass salad for dinner! I love healthy food cuz it taste GRRRRREAT to me! SO why in the fuck titty ville do I always go for the unhealthy shitty food? Why does my brain tell me, "Fuck that plum son and go for the Belgian Waffles, grits and milkshake that we will call a smoothie."
It is a mind thing. I have no control over the one thing I CAN control.
I recently spoke with this beautiful spirit, Neleh (waving frantically at her), who told me about this transformation shes been on for two years looking for herself. She tells me about yoga and it detoxing benefits which Ive done...hot yoga specifically.... with my other homie GLO! I had a ball and felt amazing and I stopped because Im a dumb ass. So I was interested in what Neleh had to say because not only do I love yoga but I loved her. Her spirit glowed and her body was AWESOME! I noticed her physical change but didnt connect that it came from the inside.
So here I am again trying to figure out what wack ass concept did I adopt that made me almost 30 pounds overweight and I realized this.....I dont want to be healthy....I just wanna look good!
That one statement explains alot. Yo yo dieting comes from this fuckball of a statement. You and I are spirits. Just like astronauts are given a space suit in order to survive in outer space....we were given a body in order to grow our spirits from what we learn here on earth. Its crazy for the astronaut to be more concerned about getting a ruby red suit and Jordans laced into his/her suit than he/she is about the maintenance of the suit! Same with me....its a stupid concept to be more concerned about being fat than me being unhealthy. So thats my next step. Changing my relationship with food. Becoming healthy from the inside out. Intention is everything.
I have begin to research many authors that talk about this topic and yoga. The China Study already has peaked my interest highly. While I research food scientifically, Ill add in some hot yoga and books on guilt which we will talk about later on because guilt is one of the worst emotions we have adopted into our daily lives! (It is seriously a fuckcluster of shitty shit!)
Alright lets do a small preview......guilt is like swallowing shattered glass on purpose. It causes so much stress on you physically and spiritually for no reason! Most people use it to punish themselves so they wont do what they did again. I had to ask myself, "Do you punch yourself in the face every time you don't spell a word right?" (The answer was no by the way. I cant spell or speak half the time! That's why I MC events and blog. Perfect requirements for such jobs) So if I did something to someone or even myself (like gain all this weight and carry my embarrassment, called my body, everywhere I go) that I need to realize I'm wrong, do my best to fix it and then let it be. Move on like a douche bag does after a one-night stand he had with a girl for a bet. I am sure guilt has a lot to do with my weight gain and I am excited to let go of the concepts that connect the two.
I miss you all dearly. I am so sorry Ive been MIA but I'm back for however long I have something to say. PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS! I wanna know if you can understand my pain or if you don't get it at all!!! Ill shall post my next blog before the week is out! Love and freedom!
Seven
Monday, June 18, 2012
Invisible Things are Like Orgasms...Priceless
Namaste! Good day! Top of the Morning to you! Hello! Hi! Hey! What's cracking? What it do! and WHATS REALLY GOOD!
My weekend was boring. Yep it bored my ass off (not literally. My fabulous ass is still here....no need to worry) and it was still awesome. I did nothing but watch funny movies and 8 episodes of Glee back to back. (YES I WATCH GLEE! Im black, Im old AND I WATCH GLEE! WHAT! Its a bowl full of awesomeness!) In my doing of nothing I got to contemplate on a concept introduced to me by my guides. Which I shall reveal now. (pause for dramatic effect. No seriously pause right now in your mind with a drum roll! JUST DO IT!)
All humans are after the intangible NOTHING MORE.
What I mean is.....I dont want to lose weight really.....I wanna feel beautiful in my skin and have everybody else agree. I dont really want a new job.....I want security and independence from others financially and less stress. I dont really want a new car....I want people to see my status in society isnt the same as a high school student. (I mean I have a 2000 Toyota Camry. Its an awesome car and it has done me right but Im f&#$in 27 years old! lol)
The point is I had to sit down and think of all the things I want and why. Whats the REAL reason behind me wanting something. I knew if the reason I came up with could be seen, touched, smelled, tasted or heard....it wasnt the real reason. (Epiphanies I swear are like mental orgasms!) When I started to reveal those reasons I saw some were pretty superficial and some were really deep. All in all, whether they were kiddie pool or ocean deep....they were my desires and it was okay to want those things. Where we get disappointed in life is we expect things in a certain package, delivered in a certain way.
The universe/God dont work that way!
Alright so Ive been wanting a new job for forever! Now that I realize that its not the job I want but the financial freedom, security and independence....it opens my eyes to all types of options. Those things I really want may not come in the form of a job. So though I may have applied for a job this past Friday (which I did) and really want the job because its something that I would enjoy (which it is) the universe may know something I dont. This job may not give me everything I want and the universe may have something happen behind the scenes that may block me from getting the job. An opportunity for me to create my own line of graphic and screen tees might be right around the corner. (also something I wanna do...along with shot glasses...stay tune) Which means, if I do not get a phone call back for this job...I shouldnt get disappointed....I should get excited. Why?
Because anything we want is ours and faith in that one statement is all you need to see your dreams manifest.
This job may only give me ONE of the things I want where my own line of t-shirts may give me ALL the things I want. This concept has stopped my worry. This concept has choked out my need for control. (I know Im not the only A-type Bitch around these parts) It has stopped fear in all forms on this side. All my desires are already mine.
So yes sometimes you ask for a butterfly and God gives you a Caterpillar! Stop trippin and get excited about how awesome the opportunity will be. Raising one Caterpillar may give you the skill to have an endless supply of butterflies! You want to get married and have the BEST marriage anyone has seen. I mean you wanna KICK ASS in the married life. Well maybe in order to have that kick assness that dude you have been hoping to notice you HAS TO IGNORE YOUR ASS! lol.
NO need for disappointments. As a society we have way more faith in being disappointed than in things going our way and thats the best way to create your life to suck balls! Huge ones! I challenge you and myself to think about what you really want and why you really want it. Whats the intangible thing you are searching for? Then keep your eyes open child-hood wide and see what amazing way the universe answers your desire. Opportunities are everywhere....you just got have faith in them to see them! Love and Freedom!
There is no Spoon!
Seven
My weekend was boring. Yep it bored my ass off (not literally. My fabulous ass is still here....no need to worry) and it was still awesome. I did nothing but watch funny movies and 8 episodes of Glee back to back. (YES I WATCH GLEE! Im black, Im old AND I WATCH GLEE! WHAT! Its a bowl full of awesomeness!) In my doing of nothing I got to contemplate on a concept introduced to me by my guides. Which I shall reveal now. (pause for dramatic effect. No seriously pause right now in your mind with a drum roll! JUST DO IT!)
All humans are after the intangible NOTHING MORE.
What I mean is.....I dont want to lose weight really.....I wanna feel beautiful in my skin and have everybody else agree. I dont really want a new job.....I want security and independence from others financially and less stress. I dont really want a new car....I want people to see my status in society isnt the same as a high school student. (I mean I have a 2000 Toyota Camry. Its an awesome car and it has done me right but Im f&#$in 27 years old! lol)
The point is I had to sit down and think of all the things I want and why. Whats the REAL reason behind me wanting something. I knew if the reason I came up with could be seen, touched, smelled, tasted or heard....it wasnt the real reason. (Epiphanies I swear are like mental orgasms!) When I started to reveal those reasons I saw some were pretty superficial and some were really deep. All in all, whether they were kiddie pool or ocean deep....they were my desires and it was okay to want those things. Where we get disappointed in life is we expect things in a certain package, delivered in a certain way.
The universe/God dont work that way!
Alright so Ive been wanting a new job for forever! Now that I realize that its not the job I want but the financial freedom, security and independence....it opens my eyes to all types of options. Those things I really want may not come in the form of a job. So though I may have applied for a job this past Friday (which I did) and really want the job because its something that I would enjoy (which it is) the universe may know something I dont. This job may not give me everything I want and the universe may have something happen behind the scenes that may block me from getting the job. An opportunity for me to create my own line of graphic and screen tees might be right around the corner. (also something I wanna do...along with shot glasses...stay tune) Which means, if I do not get a phone call back for this job...I shouldnt get disappointed....I should get excited. Why?
Because anything we want is ours and faith in that one statement is all you need to see your dreams manifest.
This job may only give me ONE of the things I want where my own line of t-shirts may give me ALL the things I want. This concept has stopped my worry. This concept has choked out my need for control. (I know Im not the only A-type Bitch around these parts) It has stopped fear in all forms on this side. All my desires are already mine.
So yes sometimes you ask for a butterfly and God gives you a Caterpillar! Stop trippin and get excited about how awesome the opportunity will be. Raising one Caterpillar may give you the skill to have an endless supply of butterflies! You want to get married and have the BEST marriage anyone has seen. I mean you wanna KICK ASS in the married life. Well maybe in order to have that kick assness that dude you have been hoping to notice you HAS TO IGNORE YOUR ASS! lol.
NO need for disappointments. As a society we have way more faith in being disappointed than in things going our way and thats the best way to create your life to suck balls! Huge ones! I challenge you and myself to think about what you really want and why you really want it. Whats the intangible thing you are searching for? Then keep your eyes open child-hood wide and see what amazing way the universe answers your desire. Opportunities are everywhere....you just got have faith in them to see them! Love and Freedom!
There is no Spoon!
Seven
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
I praise you female Jesus aka Jennifer Hudson
Namaste Bitches!!!!!!
I am back. (dont act like you dont masturbate to my blog...you miss it!) I had to take a little time off. Dont know why but my spirit just got quiet on me but many life changing things have happened and lots to say.
The one Im the most excited about is of course the least important....WEIGHT LOSS! Praise Female Jesus!
Ive had issues with my weight ever since my dad told me I was fat in 8th grade. (I cant imagine why its going to be so hard to pick up the phone this Sunday....ahhhhh.....the joy of the Happy Father's Day Text) So I would lose weight just for my dads stamp of approval. Up and down often till I blew up to almost 170 pounds at 5"1. I lost 25 pounds and gained it back in the same amount of time I lost it. Then I kicked my dads approval in the balls, sprayed pepper spray and told it to stop stalking me and it did. That didnt make me lose the weight though but it did begin a love for my body. I began to attract really amazing men. That's when I realize:
Cinderella is a liar and a bitch because real men dont fall in love with doormats and victims!
I use to be able to look in the mirror and point out everything wrong. (dont act like im the only one) Ignoring everything thats right. So I began to focus on my wonderfulness with the same intense I did the shittiness (U never know how many words you use that you cant spell till you write a blog). I felt at home in my skin not realizing I was finding my amazing through internal competition with others. My internal dialogue was filled with jerk ass comments like "Yes, shes pretty but my butt is bigger than hers"....."Oh she's cute but my eyes are better than hers". The only reason why Id love something about me because it was BETTER than yours. (My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard! BTW.... My milkshake is chocolate with brownie bits) You couldnt tell me I didnt love myself with unconditional pure love. Until...
I met the man Im in "union" with now....
His ex wife (model-gorgeous), the mother of his son (blonde-blue eyed gorgeous) and the woman he just broke it off with (brian mcknight made a song about her-gorgeous....thats a fact btw) were all made with perfect ass beauty. I mean not, oh yeah she is pretty. NOPE. The kind of girls you stare at and question your strict loyalty to penis. The kind of beauty that makes you take your hand and move it slowly towards their face to touch them to see if they are real. There was no "Yes shes pretty but...." it was just .....DAMN!!!"
In this time, I realized how much shit was in me. How much garbage I allowed within my subconscious. Yes they were drop dead and alive gorgeous but that doesnt take away my beauty. Yes society may say they are beautiful but I say that Im beautiful. What the I believes is waaaaaay more powerful than what the WE say. Dont believe me?? Just think on how many compliments you have forgotten that people have given to you that you didnt believe because your I said differently. The moment the compliment hit your ear the I came in and said, "they are just being nice dont believe that". Lets not forget, Halle Berry wont let her own man see her without make-up and hair done...I believe she is perfect but her I says differently and thats all that matters.
Everybody is beautiful.....seriously....the quicker you believe that, I MEAN REALLY BELIEVE THAT....the quicker true love for yourself begins to bloom.
Did you know your aura/spirit is ten feet in diameter around you? It can expand to 50 MILES! Your spirit is waaaaay more of you than your body. Who really cares about how the eggs taste in a cake? Apparently we do cause thats how we treat ourselves. Now that I get that, losing the weight should be easy right???? WRONG!
I love to work out. LOVE IT! I love the smell and energy of the gym. I love saunas and steam rooms and that "High" feeling you get from working out. All of that and I could not get motivated to go. So I got a work out buddy. I lost about 3 pounds in 3 weeks which is...eh...but I knew what it was.....it was my lack of discipline with food.
I mean, I have got everything in check. The confidence, the love for myself and the gym so whats missing....lack of discipline. My favorite theme to ignore in my life. My car looks like The titans clashed in it. My room looks like lindsey lohan's life. My feet look like I kick bricks at the beach for a living. There are parts that need to be shaved that look like a Brillo pad unraveled. The list can go on. My father was in the military so he had us do shit I thought was extremely pointless. I constantly heard, "Once you get out of my house you can do what you want." And once I got out, I DID JUST THAT but.....
True freedom is found in balance.
I tried low carb. I tried low cal. I tried drink water before u eat. I tried starvation. U know whats the one thing in common with them all....all those diets were extreme in one way or another. So I heard, "I am you! You are me!" (soulfully annoying) weight watcher commercials just like everyone else. Every time I saw the commercial I wanted to hate it (like the Hills theme song) but i couldnt. Why? Female Jesus....Jennifer Hudson is amazing.
Though not a fan of her voice and music (but her "youre gonna love me" song in dream girls...genius).... Jennifer hudson got famous while being far from skinny. We loved her just the way she was because she did. A horrible tragedy happened where her family was murdered. Then an amazing thing happened she got engaged and had a baby. All the things happening in her life were major reasons to gain weight. She would have been validated by anyone (especially women because when we hit our cycle we bloat to the size of New Jersey Housewives arguments). Instead she lost weight. She looks amazing. Not more happy with herself (cuz that was already there) but more excited about life. She lost it for all the right reasons. I wanted that. So guess what I did....joined weight watchers.
Jennifer hudson wasnt the only one. Green Tea, an amazing local "on her way to being national" artist, went from a size 12 to a size 2 in a year and a half. Audrey, my spiritual mentor's (HEY MS ALMA) daughter, lost 60 pounds. My friend from high school has stayed at a size 2 for years thanks to weight watchers. So I just had to. If I can conquer my imbalance with food.....all other areas would fall into place. SO I signed up for 3 months for 58 dollars. Its one of the best things Ive done. Havent been on a week and I've lost a half an inch in my stomach and 2 pounds. It teaches you that you can go to a fast food restaurant and eat an big mac. If you crave it, do it! Just know you have eaten half of your points of the day. All veggies and fruit are zero points. So I can eat my big mac and veg out literally for the rest of the day and be waaaaaay under my points. Its not a diet it is really a change of the way you see food,
All in all, Im happy. Its been a long road with dealing with this body of mine but I feel amazing. Dont get it twisted, there are things Id like to change but thats not my focus. I realize how really pretty I am when I saw all of the good shit God gave me. The best part is that the amazing I now own doesnt come from anyone else but me. Which means, there is no time limit when I can get it, theres no cut off and its permanent. Ill keep yall posted on my progress. Love & freedom.
There is no Spoon
SEVEN
I am back. (dont act like you dont masturbate to my blog...you miss it!) I had to take a little time off. Dont know why but my spirit just got quiet on me but many life changing things have happened and lots to say.
The one Im the most excited about is of course the least important....WEIGHT LOSS! Praise Female Jesus!
Ive had issues with my weight ever since my dad told me I was fat in 8th grade. (I cant imagine why its going to be so hard to pick up the phone this Sunday....ahhhhh.....the joy of the Happy Father's Day Text) So I would lose weight just for my dads stamp of approval. Up and down often till I blew up to almost 170 pounds at 5"1. I lost 25 pounds and gained it back in the same amount of time I lost it. Then I kicked my dads approval in the balls, sprayed pepper spray and told it to stop stalking me and it did. That didnt make me lose the weight though but it did begin a love for my body. I began to attract really amazing men. That's when I realize:
Cinderella is a liar and a bitch because real men dont fall in love with doormats and victims!
I use to be able to look in the mirror and point out everything wrong. (dont act like im the only one) Ignoring everything thats right. So I began to focus on my wonderfulness with the same intense I did the shittiness (U never know how many words you use that you cant spell till you write a blog). I felt at home in my skin not realizing I was finding my amazing through internal competition with others. My internal dialogue was filled with jerk ass comments like "Yes, shes pretty but my butt is bigger than hers"....."Oh she's cute but my eyes are better than hers". The only reason why Id love something about me because it was BETTER than yours. (My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard! BTW.... My milkshake is chocolate with brownie bits) You couldnt tell me I didnt love myself with unconditional pure love. Until...
I met the man Im in "union" with now....
His ex wife (model-gorgeous), the mother of his son (blonde-blue eyed gorgeous) and the woman he just broke it off with (brian mcknight made a song about her-gorgeous....thats a fact btw) were all made with perfect ass beauty. I mean not, oh yeah she is pretty. NOPE. The kind of girls you stare at and question your strict loyalty to penis. The kind of beauty that makes you take your hand and move it slowly towards their face to touch them to see if they are real. There was no "Yes shes pretty but...." it was just .....DAMN!!!"
In this time, I realized how much shit was in me. How much garbage I allowed within my subconscious. Yes they were drop dead and alive gorgeous but that doesnt take away my beauty. Yes society may say they are beautiful but I say that Im beautiful. What the I believes is waaaaaay more powerful than what the WE say. Dont believe me?? Just think on how many compliments you have forgotten that people have given to you that you didnt believe because your I said differently. The moment the compliment hit your ear the I came in and said, "they are just being nice dont believe that". Lets not forget, Halle Berry wont let her own man see her without make-up and hair done...I believe she is perfect but her I says differently and thats all that matters.
Everybody is beautiful.....seriously....the quicker you believe that, I MEAN REALLY BELIEVE THAT....the quicker true love for yourself begins to bloom.
Did you know your aura/spirit is ten feet in diameter around you? It can expand to 50 MILES! Your spirit is waaaaay more of you than your body. Who really cares about how the eggs taste in a cake? Apparently we do cause thats how we treat ourselves. Now that I get that, losing the weight should be easy right???? WRONG!
I love to work out. LOVE IT! I love the smell and energy of the gym. I love saunas and steam rooms and that "High" feeling you get from working out. All of that and I could not get motivated to go. So I got a work out buddy. I lost about 3 pounds in 3 weeks which is...eh...but I knew what it was.....it was my lack of discipline with food.
I mean, I have got everything in check. The confidence, the love for myself and the gym so whats missing....lack of discipline. My favorite theme to ignore in my life. My car looks like The titans clashed in it. My room looks like lindsey lohan's life. My feet look like I kick bricks at the beach for a living. There are parts that need to be shaved that look like a Brillo pad unraveled. The list can go on. My father was in the military so he had us do shit I thought was extremely pointless. I constantly heard, "Once you get out of my house you can do what you want." And once I got out, I DID JUST THAT but.....
True freedom is found in balance.
I tried low carb. I tried low cal. I tried drink water before u eat. I tried starvation. U know whats the one thing in common with them all....all those diets were extreme in one way or another. So I heard, "I am you! You are me!" (soulfully annoying) weight watcher commercials just like everyone else. Every time I saw the commercial I wanted to hate it (like the Hills theme song) but i couldnt. Why? Female Jesus....Jennifer Hudson is amazing.
Though not a fan of her voice and music (but her "youre gonna love me" song in dream girls...genius).... Jennifer hudson got famous while being far from skinny. We loved her just the way she was because she did. A horrible tragedy happened where her family was murdered. Then an amazing thing happened she got engaged and had a baby. All the things happening in her life were major reasons to gain weight. She would have been validated by anyone (especially women because when we hit our cycle we bloat to the size of New Jersey Housewives arguments). Instead she lost weight. She looks amazing. Not more happy with herself (cuz that was already there) but more excited about life. She lost it for all the right reasons. I wanted that. So guess what I did....joined weight watchers.
Jennifer hudson wasnt the only one. Green Tea, an amazing local "on her way to being national" artist, went from a size 12 to a size 2 in a year and a half. Audrey, my spiritual mentor's (HEY MS ALMA) daughter, lost 60 pounds. My friend from high school has stayed at a size 2 for years thanks to weight watchers. So I just had to. If I can conquer my imbalance with food.....all other areas would fall into place. SO I signed up for 3 months for 58 dollars. Its one of the best things Ive done. Havent been on a week and I've lost a half an inch in my stomach and 2 pounds. It teaches you that you can go to a fast food restaurant and eat an big mac. If you crave it, do it! Just know you have eaten half of your points of the day. All veggies and fruit are zero points. So I can eat my big mac and veg out literally for the rest of the day and be waaaaaay under my points. Its not a diet it is really a change of the way you see food,
All in all, Im happy. Its been a long road with dealing with this body of mine but I feel amazing. Dont get it twisted, there are things Id like to change but thats not my focus. I realize how really pretty I am when I saw all of the good shit God gave me. The best part is that the amazing I now own doesnt come from anyone else but me. Which means, there is no time limit when I can get it, theres no cut off and its permanent. Ill keep yall posted on my progress. Love & freedom.
There is no Spoon
SEVEN
Thursday, May 31, 2012
RACHEL, PHOEBE, ROSS, JOEY, MONICA & CHANDLER
BUT ILL BE THERE FOR YOOOOOOUUUUU!
FRIENDS
Im not sure about the other cultures (Though Im pretty sure you guys went thru this too) but black women went thru this whole "All my women who independent throw your hands up at meeeaaaaaaa!!!" movement late nineties and early 2000s. This extreme mentality was birthed from our slightly bitter mothers telling us "dont you rely on no man" and from men getting really excited about not having to open up doors or pay for dinners anymore. (We were duped into thinking paying for shit was cool. lol) Everyone in our culture was supporting this "I can do bad all by myself" bullshit mindset for women and I bought into it. Big time! In result, I ended up doing just that....doing bad by myself. No man! No real friends! Just associates I called friends cuz it was the closest thing i had. (Oh and tv shows like girlfriends. I was so envious of those women) Ive run into so many lonely women and men its crazy. I believe it has a lot to do with society telling us that relationships are just a hindrance to success in every way.
Most men Ive ran into love women as friends. Not only for the option of occasional drunken sex (YUM!) but also because making friends with another dude isnt that easy. I never ever thought about that but us girls will create friendships with a woman in the bathroom who happened to have the same lipstick we had. Men dont do those things unless they dont mind always being mistaken as gay. ("Hey looka there....we are wearing the same jock strap!" not cool most times) Also men do really have emotions and romantic comedy-like feelings they cant share with his homeboy. (Ha ha ha Guy code sucks) Men's conversations over dinner is normally about sports, while watching sports and with a woman with huge boobs putting down a plate of hot wings. Women's conversation over dinner is similar to a psychologist and client on our second dinner. ("....And girl I almost cut him in his sleep because my ass was covered in toilet water but instead he woke up and apologized then we had the best sex of my life.....")
Whats my point?
My point is with women thinking they dont need friends and men sleeping with their female friends (Cuz you know at some point someone has a weak moment and then the friendship changes)....friendship has lost its value but not its importance....especially when it comes to spiritual advancement.
We need friends....men and women.
Truth is, you dont always think clearly. Truth is, not all your ideas are great or good. (or even okay) Truth is, humans are wired for relationships. If you think you can do this life by yourself you are in a heavy denial. We have to work on our relationships with our friends just as much as we work hard to get a promotion at our job. Friends are our promotion in life. They make everything better.
So if your homegirl doesnt like going anywhere with you because you hate putting lotion on...put lotion on. (something that happened to me) If your roommate thinks your cold because you come home and go straight to your room and lock your door without one peep....... peep at her once or twice when you come home (something else that happened to me) If your homeboy wants to grab some drinks for an hour or so...stop pretending your busy,..its just one hour! (again...me)
We are losing friends and friendships over simple things. Mostly over the catergory we put them in or expectations. This morning I saw 50 shades of red I was so angry. A person I considered to be a real good friend had did something I would have NEVER expected him to do. After talking with another friend I realize I was more upset at his failure in my expectations than I was with him. Knowing where your friends stand is extremely important to the success of your friendships.
Categories of Friends start.....now.....
Uplifters: these people are like little brothers and sisters. You give a lot to them but you do not expect anything back. Most of your conversations are about them. Most of the time you are paying. Most of the time yall have spent together is about THEM! But you love them because you see they are trying to be the best person they can be. They often have a sweet and open heart. Most times yall laugh A LOT! A lot of people will often fall in this category and you not know it. The bad thing about not knowing it is that you will expect them to be there for you and often they are not because they never were suppose to be.
Karma Friends (get what you give....give AND take): these people are there when you cry, when you're angry, when you laugh, when you get locked up...I mean the list goes on! Its a give and take. You hold their hair back when they throw up and then you hold theirs. You buy a round of beer and then they buy a round. These people are hard to come by but like dating get out there and find them. You love to work out, go to a spin class or go play basketball. You love to paint, take a painting class. Watch the game at the bar instead of at home. When you get there, be friendly and get to know people! In this category, you may have your soul mate. You both are learning similar lessons and at a similar pace. (These people are my favorite people in the whole world. Im hoping one of these friends become Oprah rich one day. Id love to be a Gayle)
Yodas: often we end up in a pickle. You go to your soul mate and they tell you to do what they would do but they dont have what you have. (Get it? LOL) Going to single friends about a relationship problem is a dumb solution. Going to a couple you admire about relationship issues...make much more sense. Going to someone about financial advice that has a 230 credit score is dumb. Going to a master business man with a 799 credit score...smart! You have to find people you admire, the master teachers of the areas you are having problems in so that you can call on them when you find yourself confused. We are their Uplifters. Make sure your master is stable enough to deal with that.
These categories helped me today. I was reminded that the friend that made me angry wasnt a bad person with evil intentions. He was just letting me know I placed him in the wrong category for right now. Friends do move categories and they will tell you which category they moved to with their actions. As long as this person isnt causing negative energy, drama and constant pain.....mend the friendship. Friends ARE needed. It is not weak to need them. If you have lost a friend recently, work on that friendship like its a project at work that CANT FAIL! Its time to get friendly! Love & Freedom!
There is no SPOON!
SEVEN
FRIENDS
Im not sure about the other cultures (Though Im pretty sure you guys went thru this too) but black women went thru this whole "All my women who independent throw your hands up at meeeaaaaaaa!!!" movement late nineties and early 2000s. This extreme mentality was birthed from our slightly bitter mothers telling us "dont you rely on no man" and from men getting really excited about not having to open up doors or pay for dinners anymore. (We were duped into thinking paying for shit was cool. lol) Everyone in our culture was supporting this "I can do bad all by myself" bullshit mindset for women and I bought into it. Big time! In result, I ended up doing just that....doing bad by myself. No man! No real friends! Just associates I called friends cuz it was the closest thing i had. (Oh and tv shows like girlfriends. I was so envious of those women) Ive run into so many lonely women and men its crazy. I believe it has a lot to do with society telling us that relationships are just a hindrance to success in every way.
Most men Ive ran into love women as friends. Not only for the option of occasional drunken sex (YUM!) but also because making friends with another dude isnt that easy. I never ever thought about that but us girls will create friendships with a woman in the bathroom who happened to have the same lipstick we had. Men dont do those things unless they dont mind always being mistaken as gay. ("Hey looka there....we are wearing the same jock strap!" not cool most times) Also men do really have emotions and romantic comedy-like feelings they cant share with his homeboy. (Ha ha ha Guy code sucks) Men's conversations over dinner is normally about sports, while watching sports and with a woman with huge boobs putting down a plate of hot wings. Women's conversation over dinner is similar to a psychologist and client on our second dinner. ("....And girl I almost cut him in his sleep because my ass was covered in toilet water but instead he woke up and apologized then we had the best sex of my life.....")
Whats my point?
My point is with women thinking they dont need friends and men sleeping with their female friends (Cuz you know at some point someone has a weak moment and then the friendship changes)....friendship has lost its value but not its importance....especially when it comes to spiritual advancement.
We need friends....men and women.
Truth is, you dont always think clearly. Truth is, not all your ideas are great or good. (or even okay) Truth is, humans are wired for relationships. If you think you can do this life by yourself you are in a heavy denial. We have to work on our relationships with our friends just as much as we work hard to get a promotion at our job. Friends are our promotion in life. They make everything better.
So if your homegirl doesnt like going anywhere with you because you hate putting lotion on...put lotion on. (something that happened to me) If your roommate thinks your cold because you come home and go straight to your room and lock your door without one peep....... peep at her once or twice when you come home (something else that happened to me) If your homeboy wants to grab some drinks for an hour or so...stop pretending your busy,..its just one hour! (again...me)
We are losing friends and friendships over simple things. Mostly over the catergory we put them in or expectations. This morning I saw 50 shades of red I was so angry. A person I considered to be a real good friend had did something I would have NEVER expected him to do. After talking with another friend I realize I was more upset at his failure in my expectations than I was with him. Knowing where your friends stand is extremely important to the success of your friendships.
Categories of Friends start.....now.....
Uplifters: these people are like little brothers and sisters. You give a lot to them but you do not expect anything back. Most of your conversations are about them. Most of the time you are paying. Most of the time yall have spent together is about THEM! But you love them because you see they are trying to be the best person they can be. They often have a sweet and open heart. Most times yall laugh A LOT! A lot of people will often fall in this category and you not know it. The bad thing about not knowing it is that you will expect them to be there for you and often they are not because they never were suppose to be.
Karma Friends (get what you give....give AND take): these people are there when you cry, when you're angry, when you laugh, when you get locked up...I mean the list goes on! Its a give and take. You hold their hair back when they throw up and then you hold theirs. You buy a round of beer and then they buy a round. These people are hard to come by but like dating get out there and find them. You love to work out, go to a spin class or go play basketball. You love to paint, take a painting class. Watch the game at the bar instead of at home. When you get there, be friendly and get to know people! In this category, you may have your soul mate. You both are learning similar lessons and at a similar pace. (These people are my favorite people in the whole world. Im hoping one of these friends become Oprah rich one day. Id love to be a Gayle)
Yodas: often we end up in a pickle. You go to your soul mate and they tell you to do what they would do but they dont have what you have. (Get it? LOL) Going to single friends about a relationship problem is a dumb solution. Going to a couple you admire about relationship issues...make much more sense. Going to someone about financial advice that has a 230 credit score is dumb. Going to a master business man with a 799 credit score...smart! You have to find people you admire, the master teachers of the areas you are having problems in so that you can call on them when you find yourself confused. We are their Uplifters. Make sure your master is stable enough to deal with that.
These categories helped me today. I was reminded that the friend that made me angry wasnt a bad person with evil intentions. He was just letting me know I placed him in the wrong category for right now. Friends do move categories and they will tell you which category they moved to with their actions. As long as this person isnt causing negative energy, drama and constant pain.....mend the friendship. Friends ARE needed. It is not weak to need them. If you have lost a friend recently, work on that friendship like its a project at work that CANT FAIL! Its time to get friendly! Love & Freedom!
There is no SPOON!
SEVEN
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Freaky Hump day Wednesday: Smells Like Weed....Smells Like Peace
SO its Freaky Hump day Wednesday. Which means I talk about something people outside of fight club (spiritual world) dont know about. Today we speak on Sage!
Alright so as Ive mentioned 7 times before, I just moved into a new place. I am too excited about it. The moment my roommate and I saw it (which was 10 mins AFTER we signed the lease...yeah we are amazing) we began to run around like two black women at a Baptist church. Everything about it yelled "Welcome Home Bitches!" We had four of our wonderful, sexy, African American men friends come over and help us move. They were talking about our asses, trying to convince us to have an orgy (which started as my idea), making fun of my furniture and making jokes about my wrong estimate of how long the move was going to be.....I mean Bacardi 151 straight up good times. (Im an alpha female so busting balls is my kind of a good time) Seriously, most of their energy wasnt spent on moving....it was spent on stomach contractions because they laughed that much. All of us really had a ball. Little did I know how incredibly important that was.
After everything was said and done both my significant other (the sexiest best friend Ive ever had) and my mom said it felt sooooo peaceful. I agreed. The house felt similar to the space where a sunset and a blue ocean meet. It just felt good. I began to worry.
My last space I called house (not home....it sucked like fellatio) was just icky. My roommate was often depressed and I never wanted to be there (and wasnt) and I was afraid we had brought that over to the new crib. (Negative energy can be like roaches.) I asked around for Sage and directions for clearing my house because my used of Sage before was AMAZEBALLS. My most recent awesomeness with it was for my sleep. My fear (which has dramatically decreased THANK GOD) of *Darth Vader Voice* "The Dark Side" of spirituality makes me a fantastic target to be mess with. Ive had this problem ever since I was little.
Every time I got really connected to the spiritual world, no matter what denomination we were in, I would began to see "them". Not knowing when you are happy, full of love and not afraid of them you become boring and they leave you alone. Well I guess my fear had come back without my knowing and I couldnt sleep due to this. It felt like a low panic attack or nervous stomach all over my body all night. It happened two nights in a row so the third night, I smudged the bedroom (was at my best friends house) with Sage and slept like a baby. (I swear Sage is like Microwaveable Peace....a Ramen Noodle Shalom)
With that being said, I didnt want any left over negative energy from those who use to live in my new space nor from our last apartment so I was on an Indiana Jones search for some Sage. Until..... I came home yesterday to shower after Zumba (I love shaking my ass and calling it exercise!) and was talking to my roommate about how awesome it felt in our apartment. She then pointed out the moment she stepped in our last place it felt dark and disturbing which was totally the opposite with this space. It puzzled me because she was right and I wondered what was different.
It was our movers!
My sexy, black men friends brought the spirit of joy with them. Dont underestimate that. Happiness is one thing but Joy....brings so much with it. Each piece of furniture, plate, vase and washing machine was covered in laughter. Which means the next time you feel dark or heavy....its time to do something light (or something full of it) something silly. Dye your hair, buy "day of the week" underwear so when someone asks you what day it is you check your panties, have a water balloon fight or if you are daring like me....play tag in Wal-mart (actually something I did after college). Joy is so important for peace.
I will still Sage my spot just to keep the positive energy flowing along with crystals (which will get to later). Just to ensure that anything my aura picked up from random people(like the lady on the treadmill talkin to herself) isnt lingering in my room. Its like a detox for your house and you!
The Native Americans used it as a sort of first aid kit. It brought people's body back to balance by getting rid of the negative energy that followed them. Be warned it smells like weed unless you get it mixed with something else (lavender is awesome) and you can get it at any whole food store. If you are feeling depressed, clumsy, forgetful or that you just cant catch a break....sage yourself. There are many methods and all of them work if your intention is set right. You dont have to believe me...try it! You'll be surprised how awesome it is. There's a link below if you would like to order some!
If you have "Saged" yourself or something before PLEASE post your methods. Id love to see them and ensure my readers Im not crazy! Love & Freedom.
There is No Spoon
SEVEN
Alright so as Ive mentioned 7 times before, I just moved into a new place. I am too excited about it. The moment my roommate and I saw it (which was 10 mins AFTER we signed the lease...yeah we are amazing) we began to run around like two black women at a Baptist church. Everything about it yelled "Welcome Home Bitches!" We had four of our wonderful, sexy, African American men friends come over and help us move. They were talking about our asses, trying to convince us to have an orgy (which started as my idea), making fun of my furniture and making jokes about my wrong estimate of how long the move was going to be.....I mean Bacardi 151 straight up good times. (Im an alpha female so busting balls is my kind of a good time) Seriously, most of their energy wasnt spent on moving....it was spent on stomach contractions because they laughed that much. All of us really had a ball. Little did I know how incredibly important that was.
After everything was said and done both my significant other (the sexiest best friend Ive ever had) and my mom said it felt sooooo peaceful. I agreed. The house felt similar to the space where a sunset and a blue ocean meet. It just felt good. I began to worry.
My last space I called house (not home....it sucked like fellatio) was just icky. My roommate was often depressed and I never wanted to be there (and wasnt) and I was afraid we had brought that over to the new crib. (Negative energy can be like roaches.) I asked around for Sage and directions for clearing my house because my used of Sage before was AMAZEBALLS. My most recent awesomeness with it was for my sleep. My fear (which has dramatically decreased THANK GOD) of *Darth Vader Voice* "The Dark Side" of spirituality makes me a fantastic target to be mess with. Ive had this problem ever since I was little.
Every time I got really connected to the spiritual world, no matter what denomination we were in, I would began to see "them". Not knowing when you are happy, full of love and not afraid of them you become boring and they leave you alone. Well I guess my fear had come back without my knowing and I couldnt sleep due to this. It felt like a low panic attack or nervous stomach all over my body all night. It happened two nights in a row so the third night, I smudged the bedroom (was at my best friends house) with Sage and slept like a baby. (I swear Sage is like Microwaveable Peace....a Ramen Noodle Shalom)
With that being said, I didnt want any left over negative energy from those who use to live in my new space nor from our last apartment so I was on an Indiana Jones search for some Sage. Until..... I came home yesterday to shower after Zumba (I love shaking my ass and calling it exercise!) and was talking to my roommate about how awesome it felt in our apartment. She then pointed out the moment she stepped in our last place it felt dark and disturbing which was totally the opposite with this space. It puzzled me because she was right and I wondered what was different.
It was our movers!
My sexy, black men friends brought the spirit of joy with them. Dont underestimate that. Happiness is one thing but Joy....brings so much with it. Each piece of furniture, plate, vase and washing machine was covered in laughter. Which means the next time you feel dark or heavy....its time to do something light (or something full of it) something silly. Dye your hair, buy "day of the week" underwear so when someone asks you what day it is you check your panties, have a water balloon fight or if you are daring like me....play tag in Wal-mart (actually something I did after college). Joy is so important for peace.
I will still Sage my spot just to keep the positive energy flowing along with crystals (which will get to later). Just to ensure that anything my aura picked up from random people(like the lady on the treadmill talkin to herself) isnt lingering in my room. Its like a detox for your house and you!
The Native Americans used it as a sort of first aid kit. It brought people's body back to balance by getting rid of the negative energy that followed them. Be warned it smells like weed unless you get it mixed with something else (lavender is awesome) and you can get it at any whole food store. If you are feeling depressed, clumsy, forgetful or that you just cant catch a break....sage yourself. There are many methods and all of them work if your intention is set right. You dont have to believe me...try it! You'll be surprised how awesome it is. There's a link below if you would like to order some!
If you have "Saged" yourself or something before PLEASE post your methods. Id love to see them and ensure my readers Im not crazy! Love & Freedom.
There is No Spoon
SEVEN
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