Come Hell or High Water....Part 1

Hey and Namaste! I think its about time for me to tell you how I got here. Yes, here. Here, is where now I have prayer meetings dedicated to bringing me back to the LAWD! Here....... where former church members will say hi from a distance but become extremely uncomfortable when I go in for a hug. (Which by the way is one of my favorite past times) Here, where I have come to understand Christian interpretation of marriage similar to The Matrix. (*Morpheus voice* A Prison you cannot see, touch, smell or taste) Here.......... where I stopped believing in Christianity.

My father became an elder when I was 3 years old. My mom a minister when I was 13. Both became Pastors (Reverends for those who aren't familiar with the term) and started their own church when I was 21. Needless to say, church was a huge part of my life and I loved it! I was involved in EVERYTHING. Seriously, all the things you can name and some you have never heard of. (Vice President of the Teen Council...ha!...told ya) I was prophesied to that Id be a great apostle and prophet. I knew my bible and loved church conferences yet still there was something missing.

That something missing seemed to be found in the souls of people like Erykah Badu and India.Arie. Both lived their lives from this....type of..... knowing. Their music seemed to speak another language that only my spirit understood. I was always overwhelmed because of the knowledge in their songs and also with non-Christians who I would debate with.  They always knew more than I did though Id never admit that back then because agreeing with them would be a Judas type move to my Lord and Savior. It didn't help that at 24 I read "The Secret" and it changed my life more than the Bible had in a very long time. At 26, I was going to a wonderful church full of love, joy and JESUS.......oh......and was totally bored out of my mind.

Until the dark ages came (I like to name sections of my life as if it was a HUGE part of Earth's history which it is) and I lost everything I once thought was CERTAIN. Church was no longer up lifting me so I knew I needed something quick before I ended up harming myself. I went on the Internet and researched "The Secret" and came upon information about the church that was just astonishing.

I didn't want to believe it because I didn't want God mad at me. I didn't want to go to hell. I didn't want to place the kiss of betrayal upon God's cheek. For He (<---- why do we use this AWFUL pronoun for God) had been my everything and I had been a faithful servant. If I believed these things....if I believed that EVERYTHING that made up my moral fiber was based on greedy men with a need for power then I would go to hell. Everything I worked for....would burn off on my way there. (No really, I seriously believed this guys)

There was more information out there. The suggested videos on the right side of those YouTube pages had the most seductive titles it was like Chris Hemsworth (Thor in Avengers) and Micheal Ealy (A black man with blue eyes...I mean COME ON!) was shirtless with a key to a door to a paradise of flat tummies and endless chocolate......but I couldn't bring my mouse to click....I couldn't exchange my ticket to heaven for information that could possibly reveal my superman and Santa Claus weren't real. Until...........